Hi momom

It’s been a long time since I said hi to you.  I remember that I used to talk to you all of the time.  Or I did at least after you were gone.

Essentially you were the last funeral I ever went to.  At least that I went to because I gave a shit about the person who was no longer with us.

I want to tell you what a fool your daughter has been acting – but why should I waste my breath right?

Mom got sick a few years back – 2007.  And like you always told her I came through for her.

I look at her adoration of Kahlil, and realize that I used to see that same look in your eyes.

There is a joke that a grandparent is an old person now trying to get into heaven – but I know that a grandparent is just a person who can love without having to be directly responsible.

I may not ever get that chance – but if I do I hope to look @ my babies the way you used to look at me.

I made a promise that mom would not have to live as you did in her last days and so far so good.  It’s work but she’s worth it.

I wish I’d been older to show you that you were worth it too.

I wish that you’d gotten to meet Kahlil too,

hell that would have added 10 years to your life that Nikki had a baby, your Nikki.

I always wanted to live in the house on 30th St.  No one but the two of us appreciated just how beautiful that house was.

I don’t think that will ever be an option  but I want to tell you that I  know what it was worth.

30th St never held the pain for me that this house does, and I think that is because I knew YOU loved me in that house.  Love really does make a difference.

I tell Kahlil about you and I don’t know if he understands but I want you to know that I never forgot and never will.

I miss you.