I ask aloud based on a conversation that I had today.  Someone wanted to know what comes next with Vizionz…as I explained…I have no real clue just some ideas out there in the universe.

I thought that tonight I would write about the first time that I gave a blow job, and I will…but a different idea also popped into my head:

Can you be born freaky?

Until 30 or so I had no clue how to tell when someone was attracted to me, until they shoved their tongue down my throat.  Seriously.  I was oblivious.

The very first time that my girlfriends told me that a boy liked me was Gregg.

Me?  Oblivious.

Why on earth would he like ME?  I was fat, I was a nerd, I didn’t put out like some of the other 12 year olds who shall remain nameless.  What the hell was wrong with HIM that he liked ME?

It’s not that I didn’t like boys…I was just totally socially inept.  If it didn’t have to do with Nikki or Trina?  My only 2 real friends?  I had no clue how to operate.  I liked boys!  I liked Warren, I liked Quinton (my friends from my youth are now laughing their asses off), I liked that other boy whose name I *think* was Gregg too (it was the 80’s we were not yet all that creative with the names of our children….that would explain why I know about 5 bagillion men named Anthony)

I liked William.  William Davis.  He delivered the paper to our house.

Yes Virginia waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 1984 there were these things called newspapers.

William was 14ish.  I was pretty much that chick in the red pants in the photos you saw.  He always talked to me, but I was oblivious to the fact that he liked me.

I just wanted him to stop ringing the bell when Dr. Who was on.

One afternoon he convinced me to talk to him.  I came out on the front steps and he told me that he likeded me.

Did I want to be his girlfriend?

Could he kiss me?

Hey!  I know what that is!  I’ve seen it on TV!  I’ve never done it before….but I have seen it!  
SURE!

So I puckered up my lips like you do when you are about to kiss your mother on the cheek, he leans in.

Now in my head  the theme from The Young & The Restless is playing, and there are fairies sprinkling rose petals about us….what actually happened was

he stuck his tongue in my mouth.

and then 8 seconds later?

He was pushed up against my front door, I had one hand on the back of his neck holding it in place, I was kissing him BACK, and my other hand was roaming down his chest towards……

STOP THAT!!!!!

The next door neighbor put a halt to the heavy petting.  That is why there were fewer teen pregnancies than there are now.  Nosy cock blocking neighbors.  Haters!

I think I only saw Will twice after that.  I honestly can not remember.  One day he just didn’t collect for the paper any more, and I went back to watching Dr. Who.

Can you be born a freak?

Fast forward to 18.  Kevin.  My first ‘real’ boyfriend.  We were also related but I will tell THAT story later 🙂

We were living with my Aunt Doris.  There were lots and lots of us in that house.  The sleeping arrangements were:  Aunt Doris in the queen size bed, Daisy & Tasha in the bunk beds, me in the twin bed….all in one bedroom.

Yeah it was a little crowded.

Kevin and his mom were also living there….long story.

Now the two of us being horny 18 year olds, in a house the size of a shoe box, with 8 folks living in it, we rarely found time for sex.  Sort of.

See this one night Kevin came upstairs and hopped in the bed with me.

We wanted to be quiet so we didn’t wake up the kids – although I am sure they caught us fucking more than once and just watched.

Anyhoo…..

We were spooning and he was trying to get it in but he had a really bad angle.  Really bad.  So bad that he slipped into my ass.

Yes just like that.

No warning, no lube, no foreplay…remember there are 3 other folks in this room with us we are trying not to wake up.

Just pop…..stroke.

Didn’t hurt not one little bit, and I was asking him what took him so long, I’d always wanted to try this, and don’t nut I like it.

Can you be born a freak?

About a year later there was Troy.  Kevin & I didn’t last….most young loves don’t.  Troy was a cook at the restaurant I worked @ and was a horny 30ish man with a pregnant fiance chasing some young tail.  Apparently I was young tail.

Went to his apartment one night …. I didn’t know it was a booty call then… I just knew I hadn’t had sex in about 3 months and I was horny.  He was horny.  We would put it all together and turn ourselves around and do the hokey pokey.

Get there – get naked.  He asks if I would suck his dick….

right…so I watched lots of porn..I knew what he meant but no one had ever asked me to do it before.

I thought about it for about 7 seconds and then my nose was in his pubic hair.

Troy was not as big as some of the men I would meet later in life…but he wasn’t a short needle dick either.  Yes I took it to the base my very first time.  And I just kind of kept it there because I was confused.

The man was shaking and cursing, and all I’d done was put his dick in my mouth.

I was confused.  Again …. first blow job….okay it’s in my mouth NOW WHAT?

I mentally paged through every Cosmo article I’d read *blink* about what men wanted in bed and started doing that.

4 minutes later he’s grunting and cumming.   In my mouth.

I didn’t plan on swallowing but again ….. first time.

#1  I didn’t really realize he was cumming
#2  When I did half of it was already in my mouth.

So I let him finish….and then he asked me a question.

I don’t even remember what the question was I just knew I should answer so G U L P.

He was ready to give me a medal.

We ended up fucking 3 times that night, and breaking his bed.

Can you be born a freak?

I look back at those times and realize how tame what I did back then is in comparison to some of the things that I do now.

I still ask the question though….can you be born a freak?

The ‘hard limits’ that I used to have…if you knew HIM you would understand the word limit is not in the vocabulary, when I think about it, it is not that I fear them or they disgust me…it is more that society looks at them and goes

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

because society went EWWWWWWW I went EWWWWWW even though I didn’t feel EWWWWWW.

It makes me wonder if I was born this way.

Yes my particular specialties needed to be cultivated….but I wonder if I was a natural  born freak.