I am a supporter of being out about your sexuality.  It doesn’t matter if you are gay or kinky or gay & kinky, my hope is that one day all of us will just come out of the closet.

I strongly believe that when you live your life in the closet you make it possible for people to hurt you with your information.

I think that I have addressed this here but just in case I did not:

A few weeks back an imbalanced person was angry with a friend of mine and decided to hurt her she would disclose information about me.  Yeah I know the logic on that sucks but hey I already said she was imbalanced.

The thing is the information ‘disclosed’ was information that was already public, if not common knowledge.

My decision to be out and open about who I am killed that theory before it could begin.

I have not always been out about who I am though.

I was never a child who thought that boys were icky or had cooties.  I was also a child who thought that girls were beautiful and wondered what it would be like to kiss them.

Before my first kiss with William – I had a crush for years on a classmate Towanda Gosha.  We met in first grade and I thought even then she was the prettiest thing I’d ever laid eyes on and I wondered what her skin felt like.

She was the only person that I could call friend from my elementary school, and she was my very first real person crush.  Michael Jackson was my honest to goodness first, but he was not a ‘real person’.

I have always as long as my memory goes back liked girls as well as boys.

In high school, I went to an all girls school.  It did nothing to ease my attraction to women.  In fact it enhanced it because I did not go to the neighborhood school, I went to a magnet school that contained 3000 girls from all over the city of Philadelphia.

I got to appreciate blondes, Asians, Italians, and that is where my initial affections for redheads started.  If you have  never seen a vagina with natural red hair?  You are truly missing something in your life.

In my early 20’s though after years of conditioning I’d given up on the concept that I could be with a woman.

It was wrong – it was sinful – it was nasty – it was dirty, I’d been led to believe.  Add to that the built in prejudice the African American community has against homosexuals and you may understand that I was hesitant to acknowledge I liked breasts.

It was my relationship with the ex that first got my face in a pussy.

It was painfully obvious after our first couple of encounters that he was light years ahead of me sexually.  I thought I was hot stuff, but I was an Atari 2600 to his PS3.

Atari 2600 – on a side note there was not a person alive who could beat me in Space Invaders or Pitfall

It led to my relationship with John, and my further exploration of my sexuality.  I thought I needed to be better in bed for him.  It never occurred to me that what I was at that time was perfectly acceptable.  Now?  I am soooo much better, but even then I wasn’t a lightweight.

It was Easter Sunday.  I had plans to go to my friend Carla’s later to get my hair done but I was up and the opportunity presented itself on the phone line – Telepersonals.

There was a couple looking for a third right NOW so I sent them a message – I’m game!

Turns out he lived in South Philly too which was perfect!  I would not have to drive all over creation I would be 10 minutes away from my hair appointment.

His name was Troy.  Her name?  I can not recall.  Yes my first lesbian experience and I do not recall her name.  She’s in good company though …. there is more than one name that is forgotten to me.

I walk in – she’s already naked on the bed, and he resumes what he was doing before I rang the bell.

She was a pretty tiny brown thing, not the type of woman I would eventually crave but she had all of the equipment that I needed.

After watching them for 15 minutes or so, and taking notes on her ooooh ahhhhh points, he offered her to me.

Okay I thought this is it!

I laid on my stomach and looked at her pussy.  It was not remarkable, it was just there.

Okay I thought now what the fuck do I do?????

To give a point of reference, I’d not yet had MY first orgasm, and attempts at oral on me were 100% unsuccessful up until that point.

I had no clue how I would make her ooooh ahhhh, because I had never oooh ahhh’d.

Step two – touch it.

There was absolutely no finesse to my hands then.  I didn’t know then how to tease and excite and create anticipation.  I just put one hand on either lip and pulled her open. 

I do recall that she was almost Crayola pastel pink, and there was this nub thing looking at me when I did that.  Since it was there I kissed it.

First I pecked it like you would your great grandmother’s cheek, then I licked it.  Her response was immediate.  Thank you Troy for priming the pump.

Again my brain went….now what?

So I did something that I’d heard on a comedy show…..I began to lick the alphabet.

No I am not kidding.  I shoved my face all the way into her pussy and started licking a – b – c – d – e – f – g – h – …..

Apparently she loved it because around mnop her thighs relaxed into me, her calves were on my shoulders and she was asking Troy where he’d found me.  I don’t make the assumption that my alphabet soup was so extraordinary that she could not resist, I know it had just as much to do with all of the hard work Troy put in before I got there…..my ego however did not make that distinction then.

I went through the alphabet a second time, and then started biting (lightly) sucking licking and experimenting.  Could I get one finger inside?  Yes?  Wow so that is what it feels like  she’s warm and soft.  Can I get 3 fingers inside?  hmmm she seems to like this, stroke, and lick hmmmm I think I am onto something.

Almost a half hour later I looked up to see both of them smiling like they’d hit the Cash 5.

I sat up and nameless girl told me to take off my shirt and my pants.  Yes I never took my clothes off.

No I said, my period is on, I’m gonna leave now.

So while they sat there dumb founded I grabbed my keys and let myself out.

It was a very good day, and my hair looked FABULOUS when Carla was finished.