There was a movie with this title that came out right around my senior year in high school.  It starred Rob Lowe & James Spader two of my larger life crushes.  The buzz around the movie was that there was a scene where Rob Lowe is videotaped having sex – and in life mirroring fiction Rob Lowe was the innovator of the celebrity sex scandal (and sex tape) when footage of him having sex with 2 females hit the news.

Doesn’t sound like a big deal of course at a time where even the Bronx Zoo Cobra has a sex tape, but this was 1990.  Oh and one of the girls was 16.

I thought of this movie when I got the concept for today’s entry, who are the bad influences around you?

Are we choosing the right people to help us along our path to where we want to be?

I think I am right now but I know that there was a time that I did not.

And it got me to thinking:

I used to chuckle at the ‘strawberry letters’ on Steve’s morning show.  It stopped being funny a long time ago when I gave it some thought.

This man just gives TERRIBLE advice.  And he is giving that bad advice to the people most in need of good advice.

I don’t have the demographics in front of me but if someone were interested in searching it, I suspect that you would find it is made of mostly Black women who identify as Christian church going god fearing and looking for a husband.  Having grown up in the Black ‘church’ I can tell you just how abused and misguided this population is, and it is not a pretty sight.

The struggle of the Black woman is real.  What we put ourselves through is unreal.

If you don’t think that the Black ‘church’ is abusive I have two words for you: Eddie Long.

google it if you need to the rest of us are moving along.

Black women though flock to folk like Steve Harvey thinking he will have the quick fix to what ails us, forgetting that our answers already exist within us.

Oh Steve!  How can I get this man to marry me!?!?!?!?

And Steve feeds them a bullshit line about waiting 90 days before you give up the cookies.

And Black women put the book on the best sellers list.

First I am stunned that it takes a 400 page book to figure out men, but even if it did, it needed to NOT be written by Steve Harvey.

Men are simple creatures.  Each individual is complex in nature, but the species as a whole are simple.  Feed them, fuck them, and give them peace.  Now how that translates into YOUR man will be unique, and the process of finding out his specific desires is not simple, but if you feed him, fuck him, and give him peace  he will pick you every time.

Keeping him?  It takes more but do ^^^^ that and you are off to a good start.

Back to Steve and his 90 day propaganda. 

The 90 day rule is not new – and Steve knows it.  The 90 day rule as Steve relays it is bullshit, Steve also knows this.

I need women, and especially Black women to stop feeding the trolls.  Please.

If a man truly wants you?  He will wait 3 years if that is the case.  If a man is neutral? He’s not waiting.

We are treating the pussy like it is the holy grail, and while it is quite valuable….it’s not all that.

If he wants you when you give him the cookie doesn’t matter.  No really it doesn’t.  What makes you exceptional is 24″ above the coochie.  He’s not marrying the coochie he is marrying the woman who carries the coochie.

Which takes me finally to my earlier statement: I am not a relationship expert.  I only know how to keep MY partner happy.  But I suspect if you listened to me …. just a little …. you’d be less lonely on a Sunday morning on the way to church.