I am a huge advocate of women loving themselves. I talk about it all of the time and I’ve attempted to put it into action in my life. It is a lesson that I am still learning.
Even I have moments within my life where I feel less than beautiful. I chalk it up to the opinions of those who raised me and a society that has told me over and over and over again that I am a fat Black WOMAN so that must mean that I am of less value that the rest of the world.
Or at least the not fat Black WOMEN (translation White men) of the world.
I still have moments and today was one of them.
It was not anything special that triggered the thoughts, it was years and years and years of conditioning. As I sat in front of the camera to record tonight I looked at myself and saw every flaw that existed. I almost did not upload the video at all, but if I can’t do something simple like this what I have in the pipeline will never get done.
I did finally upload and something caught my attention. I went back though the video and did a repeat and caught it again.
There was a moment of me not having my guard up at all. Even those who know me the best would miss the moment if I don’t tell them where it hits within the video. I saw it though and I froze the camera. In that one moment of being naked, I saw for as long as the screen remained frozen the woman that He fell for, the woman that is loved and the woman I am rather than who/what I think that I am.
I felt pretty.
I often feel sexy. I sometimes feel smokin’ hot. I often feel attractive but tonight I felt pretty. There was a s0ftness in all of that sarcasm that broke through and in that one second of the video I realized that along with all of the other things that I feel I am….I am also pretty.
I wonder how many of the rest of my half of the human race takes the time to look themselves in the mirror and recognize that YES they ARE pretty?