When I first thought about using this topic as a blog entry, I wanted to chastise us for watching the clear downward spiral of Nadia Suleman, and not helping her.  I might still do some of that.

In the past 48 hours news of Nadia Suleman filing for bankruptcy trickled into the media.  That news comes within two weeks of a woman who went into the Suleman home to do hair took secret photos of the household and children.  Those photos ended up in tabloids.  Child Protective Services will likely investigate, maybe.

What the fuck has happened – and is it something that can be fixed?

Nadia once upon a time was a married woman, a working woman, and her desire to have children was not something that could be done the old-fashioned way.  Her now ex-husband was interviewed when she had 8 babies in her belly and said that he did not like the idea of having test tube babies, even though Nadia had already begun IVF preparations.

Nadia had successful invitro shortly after her divorce was final, and her first child was then born.  All of Nadia’s children were IVF babies, all 14 of them.  When Nadia came on the scene pregnant with 8 children (this would earn her the nickname of Octomom) she’d already had 6 children.

Nadia lived with her mother in a small 3 bedroom house.  One of the older children was diagnosed with Autism.  We would later find out that there were other children in the older  6 with special needs.

I’ve talked briefly about my opinions about multiple children families.  It’s not something that I am built for, it is something that others are built for, and good for them.  I simply know that @ 39, with one child on the Autism Spectrum, and one mother that needs full-time care additional children are not in my future.

It would not appear that Nadia gave the same thought as she continued her motherhood journey.  Many of us judged her for her choice.  I don’t think that many of us gave thought that there may have been some mental or brain chemistry imbalance that caused her to want to continue to be pregnant.  I mean there had to be right?  She convinced a doctor to implant 12 embryos, would we call that normal?  I’m not sure.

Regardless, there are 14 Suleman children now.  If her choices are her own to make – and they are, what is in some form or fashion ALL of our concern is 14 little Suleman’s running about the home.

There are 14 children that need shoes.

There are 14 children that need food.

There are 14 children that need schooling, and exercise, and haircuts, and underwear.

I am the mother of one and I know how damned hard it is. I would lose my ever-loving fucking mind if I has 13 more Clydes.

Nadia has been in and out of the press since the birth of the 8.  Wow look she got her body back! Wow look all the kids are home! Wow look all the kids are one!

Funny the news outlets were not there when it was time to oh wow potty train 8 boys and girls at the same time.

A production company in the United Kingdom paid her some money once to film a reality show.   The show offered $250 per day for each child.  NeNe Leakes gets one million dollars for appearing on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I will allow that to marinate for a moment.

Vivid Video,  a major production company that produces porn in 2009 offered Nadia one million dollars for one scene.  One scene most likely with a man most likely involving penetration.  Nadia said no.

In 2010 Vivid came back and offered 500 thousand dollars for two scenes.  Nadia said no.

Since filing for bankruptcy Nadia has softened her position on doing porn.  She is a mother that has lost the ability to provide for her family.  The TV cameras are long gone. The money ran out long ago, and she’s a mother of 14 doing it essentially by herself. I have to move heaven and earth to get a baby sitter for ONE child with Autism, who do you think Nadia has in her speed dial to babysit 14 so that she can take a 30 minute walk around the neighborhood?

The fascinating thing about watching the Octomom’s situation is understanding on some cellular level if I can not explain it properly here that if this were the Suleman family:

 

there might be a bigger effort to help this woman through her tough time, and set her up on a path to success that doesn’t involve her accepting Vivid Videos latest offer:  $100,000 and three scenes and hurry the fuck up and decide bitch because your stock is plummeting.

Even if you didn’t give a rat’s ass about Nadia, the overwhelming need to protect the White children in this photo would overcome how they got here.

Or what about this family with this White woman mother:

Do you think that these boys and girls got offered more than $250 a day?  Well lets look at it.  Kate & Jon STARTED off getting $25,000 per episode from TLC from the show.  By the last season when it was just Kate plus 8 she was getting $250,000 per episode.

 

So is this just a matter of Nadia not having the right type of guidance?  In part. A swift Google search will show you that she does not own a website with the words Nadia Suleman or Octomom.

That is something so simple…yet it is something that she does not have.

In comparison?  Before I’d had the blogspot Vizionz site open for 30 days, I owned the domain you are visiting now, there as a Twitter and Facebook account, the two photos that would be the brand were in circulation, and today there is even a Vizionz MySpace page.

Nadia Suleman has a bankruptcy judgment, and the lure of porn.

Something is terribly wrong here….and instead of watching people step up to assist this woman, and her 14 children, I keep hearing fuck her she brought this on herself.  You know what?  She did. Those children did not though.

Right now Nadia is all that they have, and we should all have a vested interest in helping her become stable, helping her plan for the future, and holding that family together.

Nadia is what will keep it together, if we don’t stand idly by watching her downward spiral.

Nadia says that she would be open to doing porn if there was no kissing and no touching.

That statement by itself should tell you that her understanding of the darkness that could be ahead of her is zero.  There are a lot of things to do in porn that don’t involve kissing and  touching.  A masturbation scene is the tamest of them all.

This would not be her first foray into “adult” video.  About a year ago she did a fetish video.   Her in a corset, a man in a diaper.  If you are not familiar with this kind of video, you won’t understand what I am about to say.  When most of America thinks of porn they think man penetrating woman and the money shot.

The world of adult entertainment and porn can be much darker than that.

The type of fetish short that Nadia did can fetch quite the price, and from there it will only get more intense.  If you think that women in the porn industry are all faring well, take a look at Jenna Jameson now and 15 years ago.  I am not AGAINST porn, but I think we need to understand that using that as a way to pay the bills alters a person.

Just watching Vivid Video being ‘polite’ in its staggering offers to Nadia should tell you something.

If you think, seriously think, that Nadia is a strong enough woman to have to resort to porn to feed her children and will come out of that experience a better person, you need as much counseling and treatment I suspect she does.

I don’t see any good that can come from this.

 

I have to wonder – are we that angry at a brown woman who made bad choices that may or may not have been related to her needing psychiatric help that we will watch 14 innocents harmed for the sake of teaching her a lesson?

 

This woman needs help.  Not tomorrow but today.

Are we truly going to watch her not get any?

 

If so then our hearts are certainly darker than any video Nadia might do.