The following post contains spoilers to the Walking Dead Telltale Video game.

 

Okay.  Since the midget Dominant got here, I don’t have as much time as I used to for recreational stuff.   I used to own a Playstation and I used to play TombRaider and I was decent enough at Madden, but I was never a game geek. What I did enjoy was a few hours of distraction that took me away from my crazy world.  Then Clyde came along and I gave up on that particular past time in favor of things like sleep.

I haven’t gotten involved in a video game in years.  I actually got a chance to pick up a controller a while back and it reminded me of the girl I used to know.  I recall how The Man smiled at me watching me play and well let’s just say that was a good day.

I didn’t plan on picking up a video game habit again.  I was cool with using Build a Lot as a mindless stress reliever that didn’t take a lot of time out of my day. Then I got sucked into the Walking Dead universe.

The show was bad enough, I picked up a new TV show habit and fuck it all I don’t have the time to watch TV!!!!  I simply got caught up in wishing Lori would die and wondering why Shane was the only one who wanted to kill Rick.

Then AMC said no soup for you until February and like any junkie in need of a fix I went off on a seeking mission.  I scoured YouTube.  I looked for fan forums.  I chased down every possible lead to the 2nd half of season 3 and it was not enough. In my search I found out about The Walking Dead interactive game.

At first I thought it would contain the characters from the TV show.  I had orgasmic dreams about how I would find new and unique ways to kill Dale and Andrea.  Then it downloaded and I realized that there would be names I knew but this game was not the show or the comic.

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It’s about a dude named Lee who was on his way to prison when the zombies come, and he connects with a little girl named Clem. 

Rule number one for me in the zombie world is no one who will slow me down.  An 8-year-old girl would slow me down.  I tried to leave her – the game would not let me.  I tried to be mean to her the game still had her look up at me with those innocent eyes.  I tried to be a dick to everyone that I met – the game didn’t care.

No matter what I did in this game the kid looked at me like I was hero and the group looked to me for answers.

Mind you in Nicole’s zombie world, I’m killing the bastard with the bad heart who is an asshole.  I’m leaving the kid, and I’m getting ghost when we end up on the dairy farm with the creepy family.

Even if I didn’t at first, when Mark gets shot, I’m Audi.

The game doesn’t care what Nicole will do when the zombies come.  All the game cares about is that I bond with this little girl, with her trembling chin and big eyes.  Fuck.

I actually got to the point in episode 3 that I thought it was my JOB to protect her.

By the end of episode 4 when she goes missing I realize I am gonna die.  That’s what happens when you walk into a city infested with zombies looking for kid. I thought to myself welp if I am gonna die lets see how many of them I can take with me.   The game wouldn’t let me kill anyone but Ben.  I couldn’t even kick his ass and he deserved it.

Lee gets bit.  Just like I thought, he gets bit looking for the kid.  There is also nothing I can do to not get bit.

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The last episode is spent looking for the girl, finding her, and teaching her the last lessons she needs to survive in zombie land.  Say what now?

This is a 9-year-old kid.  With no guardians.

The after the credits show her off on her own, walking through the wilderness, no backpack carrying food and water.  No zombies of course but still.  She’s alone.

I am not convinced that it is plausible, but its a video game.

I am angry though that while Lee is dying and he is trying to prepare Clem for life on her own I cried.

I did.

Real Tears.

 

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By the end of this damned game I cared about the fucking kid.  I died for this fucking kid. Shit.

And to make it even worse?  It is only January 6.  I still have a fucking MONTH left before the new episodes of The Walking Dead.

Hello.  My name is Nicole.  I am a walking dead addict.