The year is 2013, and we have not yet figured out many better ways to have a date with a potential than dinner.  There is not a lot wrong with that, after all I love a good meal.  Food – good.  I want to look at the dinner date and explain to you why that bad tipper is the man of your dreams.

tipping-table-money

I got into a Facebook “conversation” about tipping.  I had no idea that women felt so strongly about it.  My vizion from the bottom is : be gracious – if your dinner date is being generous and paying for your meal – be lady-like and not peek over their shoulder to see how much the tip was.

It’s rude to monitor and judge someone on the gift they’ve given you.

But since you are going to look anyhow, and since you are going to judge, let me help you understand why that $6 tip on the $94 check is exactly what you are looking for in your life partner:

  • Appearance Counts – That $100 bill suuuuuure looks good on that check plate right?  It’s fresh and crisp and its got the big face.  He pulled it out of his wallet with style and flair and pizzazz!  He gets to sit back now like the big man on campus while you bat your eyelashes at his extravagance as he smugly says: “Keep the change”.
  • Appearance Counts 2 – He only had $100 but he didn’t want you to know that he was financially challenged.  Sure a deli sandwich picnic would have fit better in his budget, and might have impressed you with creativity, but why do that when you can go ALL OUT and get some potato skins and margaritas at Friday’s?
  • He’s Focused on you – His lack of concern for the server isn’t about him being a shitty person, it is about his focus on you.  Nothing matters but you.  Not the employees of the restaurant, not his running on fumes gas tank, not his cell phone bill.  He’s all about making the right impression on you the first time, so that the second time he can get some girl scout cookies.
  • YOLO!!! – It doesn’t matter what the server thinks, you’ve already eaten the food they can’t spit in it.  It doesn’t matter that he is considered cheap, he’s never going back there again.  It doesn’t matter that it might be a reflection on his character, he’s man enough to take criticism.
  • He’s Frugal – Finances are the #1 point of contention with new couples.  The song says money changes everything, and well the song is right.  You won’t have to worry about this guy’s ability to save, he cuts corners where it counts, by fucking over people who make less than $3 an hour.  You will never be broke.  You might have to live with 1 ply toilet paper but you will never be broke

 

So hop right on that ladies, okay?