This week in the mini blog universe……
This is a subject that often up for discussion in the kinky circles I frequent. What is after care? Well it is just what it sounds like, the care of the parties post play. It’s different for each person, there are even some who say they don’t want it.
When some people think of after care they revert to the one vanilla thing that relates to them, the after sex cuddle. While that can be a part of aftercare it’s also deeper.
When an S&M scene is over there are things that have to be done:
- You have to check with your bottom to see how they are feeling both physically and mentally.
- You have to examine the “damage” you’ve done to see if anything needs immediate treatment.
- You have to check with your top to see how they are processing the experience.
- You should both discuss what was good – what was not good – and ways to improve or duplicate the experience.
- You may have to clean up personally – you have to clean your area and your toys
Aftercare is the process of all that and more.
Some bottoms simply want to be left alone to process the experience in their own way. Others want to be held, or given water or food. When you are negotiating a S&M scene you have to also negotiate after care. As a top what are you willing to do? As a bottom what are your needs? What happens one hour after? What happens four days after?
Have the conversation. Talking is important, communication is important, being able to express yourself and have your partner RECEPTIVE to what you’ve said is priceless.
Written first as Shall We Play a Game, I got to explore the wide world of sexual role play. Role play is kink done simple for many. Although I fully endorse learning how to do it ruff, I also understand that pain is not on everyone’s to do list. Role playing can be done with out the whips and chains. What is important in sexual role play is that you and your partner (s) let your minds run free and come to the table without judgment. If your partner’s suggestion is not getting you tingly, that is fine. Keep sharing and talking though until you DO find something that makes you both want to get to the sheets as quickly as possible.
Aphrodite