To tell this tale properly, I have to share information about ___ / Mlfu that might not be common knowledge, even though the industrious person could research this on their own and find the same things I did. For the record I’ve had conversations with her, and she’s been appreciative of my defense of her. I hope to continue that behavior and protect her privacy as much as possible. I am sure in places I will fail, but blame it on my head and not my heart.
When ____ met Hafez / AMP she was separated from a prior long term partner. This is a woman who has served her country honorably in the armed forces, a mother, a daughter, a woman in the truest sense of the word. Her hopes were to explore this lifestyle and find her needs as a woman and a human being met with a partner who valued and appreciated her.
I will not say that her presence in that relationship was perfect, that would be a lie. What I will say is that she deserved better than what she ended up with at the end.
____ lived in the building that Hafez now resides. She helped him get his basement studio apartment. She worked, she was a responsible citizen. She bought her own food, paid her own rent, and met a man who helped her explore her BDSM desires while stealthily transforming her into something she was not before she met him.
As their relationship went on, and ____ found herself in service to Hafez, she performed as she thought a submissive in service should. One such example was his coercion of her to let go of her apartment, to move into his apartment for companionship, training, and financial reasons. While on the surface co-habitation seems like a logical progression to an owner/property relationship, her reality turned into something that defies logic.
Under one roof, in such close quarters, a man with less than pure intentions can convince you that the sky is no longer blue. Even if you see that blue sky, the 24/7 influence of someone who has predatory intentions, who is emotionally abusive, who is manipulative and narcissistic can convince you that you are seeing orange.
Once more, she shares a level of responsibility in this story, but the blame rests solely on the shoulders of the man who treated her as he did.
____ found that once she was reliant on Hafez for the roof over her head that what she was living was not an imperfect relationship, rather it was a prison of sorts. In this life it is not uncommon for a submissive to perform service. That includes things like meal preparation, cleaning, body care and service, sexual service and any number of other things that are directed by the dominant. Those who choose submission often find joy in that service. Service becomes something else though when it is taken for granted.
She found herself with the responsibility of paying the rent for the apartment as over time Hafez took fewer and fewer assignment from his union job. He was able to collect unemployment in his down time, but that money was not always used to pay the rent. On one occasion… the weekend of Survivor Saturday to be specific… he instructed her to not pay the rent on the apartment at all so that her salary could be used to purchase the hotel suite they stayed in at the host hotel. On another occasion Hafez called an extended family member for rent money, receiving the amount of $1000.00 for rent and household expenses. He kept $900.00 of that amount requiring ____ to pay the rest. She found herself not just paying the rent and contributing to the utilities but also purchasing food for the home, although Hafez applied for and received food stamps due to his adjusted income from unemployment.
She would have to cut her sleep short every day, every day, to prepare his breakfast and lunch for the day. Again this is not an unusual activity in this lifestyle. It only becomes an issue when that meal preparation infringes on ones ability to arrive to work on time. Although this was an adult man, able bodied, he chose to not make his own food for lunch and burdened his submissive with this task. He slept soundly as she tried to prepare his meals and worked all day. He would rise in the afternoons and stay up until very late into the night, as she attempted to sleep because the next day brought the same treatment.
After work she would have to come home to clean sheets soiled with the sex he was having with his other submissives – and as she would eventually find out other random women not discussed and not a part of their ‘poly family’. His other submissives were not required to do the preparation, or cleaning that was her job as his live in woman. She used her salary to purchase cigarettes and marijuana for him, only to have him charge her if she asked for one from what he considered his pack.
For a period of time there was a revolving door of women brought to her and told she was getting a new ‘sister’, only to have them disappear within days sometimes. As the “elder” her duties also allegedly included training these ‘sisters’ in the ways of pimpstyle life, yet these women were never required to treat her with any respect or reverence. If they did it was by their own choice out of human decency, not by the directive of the alleged head of household.
She also shouldered the burden of daily verbal abuse explaining that she was untrainable, disrespectful, too willful, and generally not worth spitting on let alone appreciating.
From a ‘vanilla’ perspective this would be viewed at the very least, a problematic relationship. Some might even call it abusive at this point. Sadly there is more to the story.
____ once more was a member of our armed forces. The things you see in your service can never be unseen, and walk with you all the days of your life. If you are fortunate, that is all that you have to deal with, and you find a way to live. In her case she had the additional responsibility of separating from her former partner, being a mother even though her children were not small, dealing with the roller coaster of feminity that is called pre menopause, AND the condition of bi polar disorder. Any one of those items can be challenging to deal with in a supportive loving relationship. They become something else all together in a relationship where you are being drained financially, verbally assaulted daily, used sexually in a fashion that is not always pleasing because your pleasure is irrelevant, and combined with the physical toll of working full time and providing your body for S&M service to your so called dominant.
There are scarce few people out here in this world who would not grow weary of that treatment. Now try navigating it without your prescribed medication for your certified medical disorders, under direction of your so called dominant. Now try to manage all of that and your manic episodes alone without the help of your so called dominant. Now imagine that your full time job downsizes and you find yourself unemployed.
She did.
Add to all of what you’ve read the daily assault of a man, the “leader” of that house, sitting at home, not taking jobs available to him because it will “fuck up his unemployment” and being told you have to go out and get another job right away.
She did.
She also located new employment, although it was less than she was making previously. The difference in pay made him no never mind, her responsibilities were not altered.
Now I take you the day that things broke down for her.
On that day after all she’d endured over years of this treatment she found herself afraid to return to the place she lived. It was not a home. People want to go home it is an oasis for them in the desert of life. This place where she slept was no such home, no safe place.
She found herself sitting on a bus stop, weeping in the open, fearful of having to return to that place and tell that person – I cannot call him a man – that she was at her breaking point.
As any human being would, she realized that something had to give, and she hoped that asking for release from service to Hafez would be the answer. Despite her commitment to the dynamic, despite her love for Hafez because YES she loved him, the idea of returning to that basement apartment and living as she’d been living was too much for her to handle.
His response to her anxiety, her imbalance, her pain, her needs, her audacity to ask for release was the video that will play below. His response was not to investigate what bothered her so much that she feared coming ‘home’, his response was to force her to make this video:
WARNING THIS VIDEO IS DISTURBING IN NATURE AND COULD POSSIBLY TRIGGER REACTIONS IN THE VIEWER:
I debated for a very long time on if this video should be shared. I decided that I would because to understand his reaction the video needs to be seen.
You can hear the turning of the pages, to know that this was not something that came from her heart, it was words on paper.
You can hear the anguish in her voice and the pain of a human being damaged.
You can witness that although every other single video this “man” has recorded has lighting, he chose to do this one in the dark. Clothed in secrecy even when the camera was no longer on this woman he’d injured emotionally… if not physically.
You can also hear that he was setting her up for what was to come next, and that story will be covered in the next installment.
Aphrodite Brown