It should be simpler to find a Prince song online, but Prince is a negro.

I love his negro ass but DAMN

 

The funny thing though is of the three of us I am the least fanatic about him.  I admit though that if he came calling for any of us those left would just have to say good-bye.  Yes Prince would walk off with either my guy or my girl or both if he wanted.

I’d be a lonely girl talking in the corner to myself wondering why Prince had to take MY people.

 

One of the interesting things about life is that sometimes you have to admit when you are wrong.

This is one of those moments for me.  I’ve got an issue with someone out there in this big old universe.  The thing is my issue with them has been exacerbated by other events they are not directly connected to, and are not their fault.

They have shouldered the brunt of my anger, and frustration, and anxiety turning my displeasure at their existence into more than it needs to be, more than it should based on their actions.

Mind you, I am not pleased with their actions.  No fuckin way. That won’t change, period.

What I can admit though is that my steadfast obstinate disgust is not warranted.  It is magnified by a feeling of inadequacy and powerless witnessing.

I can’t alter anything that has happened so all of my focus is on the one thing that ironically is also out of my control, but in my head is the one thing I can stop.  Only in my head though.  In reality, there ain’t shit that I can do to change things, and the more I dig in the more defenses raise.

If I were less pit bull with a bone it would be Casi Matthews I’d be facing instead of Reggie White. [ yes you have to be a Philadelphia Eagles fan to get that one – and YES I spelled his name right.  The Matthews on the Birds roster has a vagina … just deal ]

So I am left days away from confrontations with ugly choices.  Not a one of them is attractive to me.

The only thing I would be happy with frankly is 4 days with my people period.
Thing is, I might not even get 4 days.  At this point I am gonna be fortunate to have one, considering the bullshit that Shannon just pulled.

I want to get there and fall into both of their arms and cry and scream and talk and hold them both and not let them go…..everything else that is on the schedule be damned.

I want to have a totally unhealthy burger while I toast with Belgian beer and burp and fart.  I want to throw on a slutty dress and hit the strip club and make it mist slightly while I shake my ass and fondle body parts.

I want to go to sleep with him on my right, her on my left, and snore and drool so much that they make fun of me in the morning and I remind them they picked me.

I want to put on booty shorts and flip flops and walk around the hotel watching gorillas and pimps turn ashen and scatter when they see me and run in the opposite direction.

I want to put on the dress she gave me and walk into the dungeon, tie her to a cross and using only my hands, nails, and teeth turn her into a quivering mess of orgasms and tears and expectation.  Then I want to lick her tears and rub her booty and tell her that Mommy loves her.

I want my guy to use too much rope, too many paddles, and I want to give him that side eye and go “really” when he does something …. anything that makes me give him that side eye.

I want to meet people who I’ve only spoken to via the Internet.  I want to hug people I’ve not seen in a calendar year.

I want to pull her close and dance with her in the middle of the room because that song makes me want to pull her close and because it will make her turn that special shade of pink that makes my nipples hard and my pussy wet and that I dream of on those nights she is not in my arms.

I want to look across the room at my guy, catch his eye, saunter over to him and get on my tip toes to whisper: “You’ve got Mail” and see if I am really as fast as I think that I am.

I want to put on my new bikini and twerk badly by the pool and get into the cold water because I can.

Before any of that happens though, I’ve got to get home straight, in more ways than one.

I’ve got to secure Bonnie & Clyde because they are first always.

Then I have to look into the eyes of my little one and show her what my words seem to pervert and distort.

I have to explain to someone that I still don’t like them but also apologize for making them the devil, when they are much less effective and dangerous than that.  They aren’t evil, even if I don’t think they are right for her.

But before I get to do ANY of that, I have to finish my school work which I am working on through the worst headache known to man.

I also have review a porn that arrived in my mailbox yesterday.  It’s called How to Anally Rape a Nun.  I expect to masturbate to it furiously.

So I leave you with Prince, the negro, for however long this link exists while I am off to handle shit.

Aphrodite