So yesterday I almost beat a White woman.

 

[Editor’s Note – This piece will be offensive to some. While I typically write here at Vizionz with the thoughts of others in mind, today is not that day – this is not that post. To my non – Black friends and those who are Black and choose a different path ……this post isn’t a suggestion on how to move through your life.  This is a moment of my life, like the thousands of other moments I’ve shared here.]

I could toss a list of excuses like my erratic medication schedule, not having a day off in 2 weeks…etc

After evaluating the situation in my mind for a day, I will not apologize nor attempt to qualify my actions.

I did what was right, for me and in that truth I won’t give space to second guesses.

I was out with Clyde. We got his physical done. We got haircuts. As we were walking up the street after lunch I heard a man and woman arguing. I stopped short and kept Clyde with me until I could discern what was happening.

A Black man was rattling a can asking for donations to save a homeless shelter. It was bullshit, but on any given day you can find a dozen people in this city with bullshit give me donations for something or other. A White woman was screaming from across the plaza at the Black man.

Clyde and I walked a little closer.

I heard words like creep – animal – asshole – ape come from her mouth directed at this Black man who to the best I could tell did nothing to her.

I heard the Black man say I am sick of you bitch go get your husband.

That was the moment I moved.

I told Clyde to sit. He did.

As I walked towards the Black man, the woman said are you threatening me? I saw her pull out her cell phone.

I walked and stood in front of the Black man.

I stood there silent as the woman ranted on and on. A totally different man came to “diffuse” the situation. A White man. The new addition was able to get the woman to stop yelling at the man, so she turned her attention to me.

“What are you gonna do?”, she asked.

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I’ve battled a lot in my own head going over that scenario.  I do not regret what I did. I asked myself though, what message am I sending my son? He looks to me for everything and mimics me. How would he see my behaviors? Was I showing him the life he should live or the live he should run away from quickly?

What I showed my son was a glimpse into the mind of his mother. My role in life is to protect not just the Black child who will eventually be a man, but all Black men.  There will be different manifestations of that protection. My role is to protect however and I do it without flinching and without hesitating.

I flung off my sunglasses and shrugged off my shoulder bag. I dropped my cigarette and took a step towards her.

If needed I was going to beat respect for that Black man into her.

A man I didn’t know.

Sure some of it was Black rage. In this moment of time Black rage is a real thing and a possibly damn good defense.

Most of it though was watching this White woman, berating a Black man, shoving her privilege upon all within ear shot, and making a move to call law enforcement on a Black man.

I could not stand still and watch her escalate without stepping in to protect that Black man. I had to, no question.

I took that step forward and she took one step back saying she was not afraid of me. I turned back to look at my son, my Clyde and he was holding my bag. When I turned back around that bitch had two stepped her way past Qdoba and was almost in front of the coffee shop. She didn’t want none.  I didn’t want to give her any but I would if it meant saving one Black man.

Clyde and I continued on after. I tried to explain to him that mommy did what she had to do.  The other man didn’t have his mommy to protect him the way I protect Clyde. I had to step in because no one else did.

I risked arrest

I risked ending up on World Star

I risked setting back my  progress in Family Court.

……and I would do it again.

You see, while as a Black woman “I” don’t often get that level of treatment from a Black man…I am not ashamed that I give better treatment.

I recounted the story in group today. It was a smaller group than normal and we were 3 Black women. I expressed my why:

in this climate things escalate quickly

the woman was escalating the situation thinking no one would step to this situation

it was on a college campus

almost every day it seems I am assaulted with the image of Black and Brown men and women arrested injured or murdered by law enforcement

I could not risk walking away and later on the news seeing a tragic result

With tears in my eyes I gave the social worker leading group my WHY

WE ALL THEY GOT 

 

They being Black men. We, Black women, are the only thing standing in the way of their extinction.

 

Aphrodite Brown