It’s not exactly what it looks like.

 

I’ve gotten all of the paperwork in and now it’s time to go house hunting.  I know what I would prefer…a quaint 2 bedroom in a charming apartment complex where Clyde and I can settle in for two years while I work on our combined future.

Housing being the last obstacle to reunification, I am kind of pressed.  I want my baby back in his room in his bed eating out of his refrigerator with his momma.

I’ve managed every other barrier and the only thing left is “suitable” housing.

The apartment I saw today was not suitable, in my opinion.

I remember the complex fairly well, it is the place where I gave my first ever blow job. I was 19 back then.  His name was Troy.  We worked in the restaurant together. I was a server and he was a cook.  It was a weekend night and we were talking on the phone and he invited me over.  I knew it was for sex, and I wanted to have sex with him.

I got there later than I anticipated but I was received anyhow.

I don’t recall that building looking like it did today.

In defense of the building I wasn’t paying attention to the hallways or doors that weren’t leading me to Troy.

The apartment that I saw today was extra small, with poor lighting and antiquated amenities.  I looked around and said….no matter how desperate I am I cannot bring my baby to a place that looks and reeks of desperation like this.

Being this was my first viewing of a complex I described it to my spoon as depressing as fuck. The idea that people like me are so desperate that this is their only alternative makes me beyond sad.

I’m gonna keep pressing on though because not all places I view are gonna be like Troy’s old building.

So, back to my first blow job.

I didn’t come to Troy a virgin but I was aware that he was more experienced than I. At that time there were only two other consensual partners.  Even though partner number one and I had accidental anal, it never occurred to me to suck his dick.  Ditto for partner number two.  I just wanted him to be a 1 night stand (and he was) and again….never thought about sucking his dick.

I decided I would try it with Troy though.  I’d read all about it in magazines like Cosmo.  How hard could it be?

Turns out not all that hard.

This was my first experience with authority exchange and power within the confines of sex. While still clothed I took him into my mouth.  I listened to his moans.  I listened to his directions. I threw in some stuff I’d seen in porn and spit on his dick.  He had no complaints as he came in my mouth.  I had no complaints as I swallowed. (I didn’t know then that spitting it out was an option)

We got to fucking later that night and like Jessica Jones and Like Cage we broke the bed.

Good times.

In the building I gave my fist blow job, I have to declare the building may have changed, but my sex drive has not. I also know that like Troy I can leave that place in the past and move along to bigger and better.

I’m good with that.

Aphrodite Brown