“Spinning and it’s wet like a Maytag” – Rhianna

One of the challenges which comes from being me is that I have history.  History is a good and a bad thing. History means nights like last night happen, and history means that new people have a high bar to hurdle to hold my attention.

History means I can call up the Gatekeeper and get some maintenance done. History means when a special friend is in town for one weekend only you clear your schedule and assume your position.

Your presentation also matters.

I didn’t take a photo of my outfit from Friday because my feet were too swollen to wear the new shoes but trust me when I say I know I looked good. I felt good.  I felt like an older version of me.  That girl who used to prowl and play with her food.  I miss her at times.

I wasn’t hunting Friday, I was prey.

I mean, I was prey who stood still long enough to get caught, but still prey.  With him there isn’t the question of who is the predator and prey.  I’ve also missed that type of certainty. Well not precisely…I’ve missed that type of energy.  The energy that comes from knowing the person across from you – in this instance me – is going to obey you.

I don’t get that energy that often these days, and in a #metoo reality it’s going to be more difficult to coach that out of others. I enjoy the simplicity of knowing my place and resting comfortably within it.

I enjoy the declaration, the clarity of assuming a submissive role. While dominance has her attractions, the vizion from the bottom is quite lovely.

Back to me looking good though.

I do dress a little differently on the nights we host, because…well we are hosting. Yes in recent years I’ve gotten damned comfortable in my flats and jeans but on the nights we host I role play old Aphrodite. Friday wasn’t role playing at all. It was very much, I know what I want so let’s put myself into the best possible position to get it.

It was very much, let me remind this man why he wanted me the first time, and trigger his memory of what we’ve done before. It worked.  I mean it likely would have worked even in my jeans, he’s not very specific in his needs regarding my attire outside his domicile. I still owned that dress and that night on many levels.  Your  girl still got it.

I wanted it Friday but I had to wait for Saturday. It was worth the wait.

I may write about the details. I may not. I will say though I got everything I wanted and needed, with the exception of possibly more time.

I also had all of the stuff that comes with what I got. The questions the anxiety the what if and still got to quiet all that noise and say yes.

That is a big part of what’s missing with those prospects out here on the streets.  They are not inspiring a yes. He does. The idea of telling him no is repulsive to me. And that is why I have my place. I like this place.

I’m going to seek more of it.

Aphrodite Brown