With the end of the ‘era’ so to speak when it comes to POC centered kink events, I find my self amazingly enough not MOSTLY focused on the kink.  I am in the spirit.

The love that comes from the hearts and arms of my extended kinky family is unrivaled. As my own family was in flux and chaos these men and women stepped up and in and constantly held me when I could not hold myself.

The news that this would be the last multi day Weekend Reunion event was a lot to process.

I planned for months as many can tell you about the kink send off I would give the place which gave a version of me life.

What actually happened was more than I could write in a fictitious sense because as always truth is stranger than the fiction.

After 72 hours of the kinkiest things we can imagine, I sit at the table and contemplate the spirit.  Understanding the absence in my life goes beyond just missing my child, understanding that this is also about the  void within my life without the presence of Buddhisim.

A part of the healing has to be also opening myself back to the universe.  There were Nichren Buddhists here and I know because they planned a Gonyo. I considered just sitting outside the door and listening to the old chant and seeing if it would speak to my spirit again like it did in 2009.

My spirit is restless for so many reasons but the absence of connection to the earth and universe is a part of that.

Instead of a Christian prayer circle, or returning to the practice I found myself surrounded by the brothers and sister of my diaspora and hearing the words of my ancestors and a part of me cried out to them.

More will be shared…after all it’s what I do here. The posts should be plentiful in the upcoming days.  This is but a placeholder for a longer inner look at what more I still have to heal.

Trips like this one are for healing.

This one more than others though seems like the next step in this complex process.

 

Aphrodite Brown