Let’s tackle the ‘simpler’ one first – mutual impairment.
Let me first qualify this that I needed to invent this explanation for trolls. Yes even in classes where people choose to be there, trolls show up. You know what a troll is, someone who shows up and attempts to make things harder. They swiftly find I ain’t that chick but they shoo their shot anyhow.
I’ve gotten multiple versions of this from: what if we are both drunk? High? Underage. When a 50 year old man is asking you what if we are both underage you know you are dealing with a troll.
The question is something that should be addressed though because we walk through a world where the search for affirmative and enthusiastic consent should be the real deal out here on these streets, and well things happen.
Many adults approach sex and sexual activity with a level of impairment. Impairment doesnt always mean you are under the influence of a mood altering substance. Did you work a 12 hour shift, have a 2 hour commute, help Junior with his book report and then decide to have sex with your partner? You are impaired, your ass is TIRED.
Not all impairment will prevent the ability to consent, but let’s roll back this idea that we are always approaching sex and sexual activity with clear heads. Sometimes we will other times we will not.
So lets discuss mutual impairment. You and your potential partner are out and its $1 tequila shots at the watering hole. You’ve somehow managed to avoid alcohol poisoning, your penis can still get erect, her vagina is somehow able to produce moisture and you both are conscious during penetrative sex. No one says no, no one says stop, and a “good time” is had by all. Is this the absence of consent?
The short answer is yes. If you’ve been tossing back tequila shots in abundance you are drunk. You are impaired. You lack the ability to LEGALLY consent to sexual activity. Now what happens when it is BOTH of you?
Hopefully….. your liver forgives you and nothing. You two wake up in 9 hours and take turns vomiting up the Gatoraid you are trying to keep down to ward off that hangover.
With the two of you both being impaired in the absence of a mitigating factor like deception the action is not illegal. Immoral? Ill advised? Sure but the ability of a prosecutor building a case for sexual assault and rape are greatly minimized. Should you though? I’m not here to make that decision for you, I’m here to explain to you, that above scenario exists in the absence of consent. Neither of you can consent.
If neither of you consent, that doesnt mean all bets are off and you can just go wild, it means why are you risking your reputation, freedom, and soul to engage in an activity which might go sideways later?
One of the things I stress in my class is to consider the possibilities. It’s not sexy to some. The class deals with the specifics of consent from a legal perspective which unfortunately needs to be on the table when you do this thing we do.
Taking my class won’t prevent you from getting arrested if you are out here on these streets tying to find a loophole to be an asshole.
Taking my class wont prevent you from violating the consent of another or having a miscommunication which is a consent hiccup.
Taking my class will give you new words, new ideas, and generate conversation.
The best way to avoid consent violations? Open and honest communication and conversation. Also do be an asshole, that counts also.
Considering Consent Part Two will touch on Deception.
F.U.C.K. Is available in both physical and with some modifications video conferencing.
For Inquiries contact : bookaphroditebrown@gmail.com