With the 2020 Presidential campaign seasaon now in full swing I am already exhausted. There are already multiple candidates and there are already more candidates from discriminated groups than I thought I would ever see in my lifetime and I am alaready tired as fuck.

A part of it there is not a specific candidate yet who I can look at who moved me like Hillary Clinton did. I know lots of you have issue with her and I know her time is passed, but she was special to me as a voter.

She redefined the office of the First Lady…although technically it was not an office rather a role. I always thought she was smarter than her husband. The more the right vilified her the more I cheered for her. Hillary was to the young version of me who would grow up to become a feminist a role model.

In some ways she still is, and I do not apologize for that.

No one so far has inspired me to do anything other than get this shit over with so I can vote for whoever the fuck is not Trump.

Speak & Sing had her 1 year anniversary. I gave Tempest the side eye when she suggested I join her on this path. And although last Friday left me so mentally exhausted that I could not even walk back in and say good bye to the remaining guests, I’m not sorry that she bent my arm to do this.

I do have issues with the event at times but my why won’t be disclosed at the moment. She’s a year old though. We made it. Now onto the expansion.

Speaking of expansions, I am currently negotiating to add some programming to a local kink club. When the ink is dry I will share the details, but I’m stunned that I am willing to take this step. There are those in my life who would say they are not, but it is always harder for me to see myself through their eyes.

I am sure that by the time spring comes this sentiment will change but I don’t feel like dating right now. The most recent crop of hoes was underwhelming, and I don’t much feel like expending the effort to kick it up a notch. A part of it is my current crush. In typical me fashion despite knowing better I compare the energy to what she triggers in me and when it doesn’t match I’m pretty much blah.

Intellectually I see how absolutely ridiculous this is, and that instinct of mine keeps making it happen. I will locate a medium at some point, but for the moment she got the rest of y’all looking like this:

Minus the parsley and sauce hightlight.

I share that crush status though with one woman who made me cry. Cardi B.

I feel like I’ve written about her here before but if not know that I love her. From the moment I saw her on Love & Hip Hop New York I adored her. Yes she was rough around the edges but shit catch me in the moment I am just as rough.

She resonates with the version of me I am today and wish I could transplant into my 26 year old body. Mostly though she’s worked HARD and continues to do so, to obtain success on most of her own terms. I just want to see her win. And she did. She’s been breaking and setting records for a year now, and history will tell future generations that she was the first woman to win best Rap album at the Grammy Awards. The world apparently also wants to see her win and I’m good with that.

I lost a little thug when I watched her acceptance speech Monday. Not so much thug though that I didn’t pull her out the Friday before and in between giggles slay:

A random after walked up and said I thought it was actually Cardi on stage!

That random was drunk, I hope she took an Uber home because this was early about 10pm, and she continued to drink.

There was also a pink wig on Friday, but it had to go.

For now I have to go, I’ve got to finish my proposal.

I love you constant reader.

Aphrodite Brown