In 45’s America its not difficult to imagine a world where a man who rests firmly and unapologetically on the LGBQT spectrum, who also has a decent amount of melanin in his syste, might be attacked as he walked down the street.

It feels like daily on social media we run across Pool Patty or Barbecue Becky or some other version of overt and aggressive racism. Despite obtaining the right to marry legally, those who identify as anything other than heterosexual feel the discrimination and animosity hurled in their direction daily.

So when a gay man says I was attacked, because I exist, I believed him.

I believed him because I am built to do such. By my nature as an empath, by my existence on the spectrum, by my life as a Black woman, and because between my time with the Philly Police Department and social work I’ve seen the worst of humanity, I know what it looks like.

Even before 45 I would have believed this man.

These types of things happen, daily. They happen to people who we don’t know, they happen to our friends and family. They happen to people who aren’t famous if they are fortunate. If they are less fortunate, their injury or death makes them famous, Matthew Sheppard may you Rest In Peace.

I’m not a person who finds ways to not beleive the person who says they were victimized. I don’t because I know it happens, I know what its like to not be believed, I know the pain of having to fight to obtain justice when aggrieved.

I’m more inclined to beleive you if you are a part of a group which is historically victimized.

Turns out, that based on charges filed against Smollet he might have invented the attack, orchestrated the attack.

I don’t have the words to decide how disappointed I am at the behavior, and I won’t pretend to understand the logic of it, if any logic was present.

I still beleive though.

While I am ready to not beleive him…..possibly. After all this does come after one of the ugliest investigations I’ve seen unfold and the public messiness of the Chicago PD. Two words allow me to use maybe : Laquan McDonald. How about a phrase: black sites and torture chambers.

As I said, I spent time, a LOT of time in a major metropolitan police department. I know what they are like. I know what they are like, as a Queer Black woman.

CPD has zero credibility with me, and the constant leaks from the department don’t add any weight. Until someone is charged and convicted, or Smollet admits that he made it all up, I won’t pretend that I don’t still believe.

There are some out here who use this as an excuse to attempt to explain why they choose to not beleive victims. Those people aren’t designed to believe anyway. Watch their flow, and see how they choose to extend their support and realize that for those most at risk, and most on the edges. It will rarely if ever exist. Now if it happens to be someone they can personally identify with, or if it somehow might contribute to them maintaining their privilege, sure it might be present.

But in 45’s America after a race riot and the death of civilians that person who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in Charlottesville told us there are good people on both sides.

When women come forward, after being sexually violated and it being caught on live streaming, men and women still find a way to deny what their eyes and ears are showing them.

There are people out here clicking their tongues and saying he’s made it harder for the rest of us, except..he hasn’t. You see people don’t beleive us anyway, they weren’t going to beleive it were the story true, and they are happy to go back to their existence where they can deny our pain.

So I am going to be similar. I am going to go on living my life where I beleive those who find the courage to come forward when victimized, or the temerity to lie about it.

I am ok with not being right.

My not being right once, like with Smollet doesn’t hurt anything, except my pride.

Allowing myself and others to live in purposeful obtuse ignorance does hurt, it does cause harm, and I am going to be the resistance.

Aphrodite Brown