I love the people in my life. I’ve gotten to experience some of the worst things that can happen to a human being, and through it all the people who picked me have been there. As I restructure and rebuild they are still there.

I called a family member today to bounce something off their head and they came back with something I had not thought of but I am now, and its not that bad of a plan.

I laughed at them though, I didn’t mean to but they suggested I might want to have something that resembles a relationship. I can hear you laughing Constant Reader – hush.

I get to put in some work for something tonight, and to tell the truth I am a little hyped. I am still not hyped about the location of the event, but I am hyped about being a part of the beginning. Seeing an idea gestate and be birthed and knowing down the line other people are going to love the baby.

I can see a path I was told a few months ago was meant for me. I am unsure I believed the communication but I see it and I am trying to embrace it. As I look a the story of me, on paper it is something that I always desired, yet falling all in is a bit of a struggle. When I stop to think of it, the fear could be a part of why the ‘success’ I’ve seen others obtain. I am not sure that I will step all the way out because of that fear, but I am absolutely making progress.

When I went to open up the tablet to write this, I almost opened a tab with porn. Thankfully its a quiet night here, but still I don’t need these problems, there are not a lot of diners in Narnia.

I blushed today. I blushed HARD. That feeling which inspires it is damn wonderful. I miss feeling that. I don’t have to, but I do miss it. I do not doubt that I will have it again, yet I miss it all the same.

If you could have seen me, for some of you it might be surprising. I do not often display that, but when I do it is certainly a sight. As I type now, like I typed then, my spirit lifts. I have a goofy ass smile on my face. I like that smile though.

I need to log off and get the tasks done, I am going to do it with a smile. Talk you later.

Aphrodite Brown