I’ve never collared a submissive or slave. I came quite close once, but this is not horseshoes.
From this question and another in a social media group I explained the 5 steps which are my process. This is written from the top which is not my ultimate vizion, but aspects of it are present down under so to speak as well.
Uno – Intrigue/Compulsion
There is absolutely nothing a person can do to trigger this. It exists or it does not. This should not be confused with lust, or attraction, or love. It is the most primal part of the steps and something that cannot be fabricated. Compulsion is simple, in your presence I have a desire to serve. That looks different for every person, and to the onlooker it might appear my service = compulsion. While I am not one of those serve for the sake of service people which exist, I am not a barbarian. Savage? At times barbarian no. My doing something for you, in service to you doesn’t always come from compulsion. It can come from love, obligation, tradition, respect, or a general I ain’t got shit better to do. With complusion, its a me thing. I am the one who knows it is there. Those in tune with energy might suspect it, but I am the only one who knows for sure its there. It manifests in a very specific way, and you can’t miss it if you’ve seen me in the midst of it before. Most people haven’t seen it though and I am just fine with that. Some have seen it and chosen not to act on it, which I am less fine with but thankful at the same time. That compulsion is a motherfucker and often has me struggling to remember the 2 rules. Intrigue is also primal but on the scale of things which prompt action from me it weighs less. Compulsion triggers my need to serve you, intrigue triggers my what does your service to me look like. Intrigue is no less important, it must be present to move along to step 2 but this is Vizionz from the Bottom not If I Ruled the World. There is a reason for that.
Dos – “Vetting”
The v word is complicated, and lots of us do it wrong. Yeah I know I am not supposed to judge n’shit, but yes Virginia there really is a way to do this wrong. Think of vetting as the immediate time period after you right swipe. What’s your name? Who you be wit? What number to dial? [sorry this blog was started on March 9 – RIP CW] Sure there might be some cheese eggs in this step but this is the portion of the program I feel you out. This takes a minute. I need to get to know the person, and not the kink. Should you become a part of my life, I need to like you as a human being. Newsflash – I don’t like MOST human beings. I need to know you aren’t crazy, I need to know you aren’t a Trump voter. The things which are important to me have to align with what’s important to you. If you eat grits I can work with that even though I don’t. If you think life begins at conception and that means you agree with the legislation of my uterus I cannot. Especially at this point of my existence, I have to know things because 4 decades + on the 3rd rock from the sun have taught me not to waste my time when some things aren’t compatible. While I might make exceptions on somethings for a friend, for a dynamic partner that just won’t cut it. Odds are you won’t know I am vetting you. Sure I may ask a mutual what do you know/think about _____ but my vetting is about more than that.
Tres – Consideration
My process of vetting is lengthy. Depending on our proximity and schedules it can take 6 months or longer. I’ve never gone into a dynamic with the intention of it being temporary. My intention is always forever so to speak. I am not really an until death do us part chick, but I also don’t ever plan to leave once I’ve made a commitment. It happens, life is not predictable, but it is never my intention to end things. If you’re going to be here for the next 20 years, I need to like you. I need to appreciate and respect you. I need to love you. I speak not of The Notebook, but rather my genuine love for the people around me. Before we get to the sit down – do we want to give this thing a shot – consideration talk, lots of vetting happens. Now we all know I’ve broken this rule historically. We also all know the devastating effect of breaking that rule. It won’t happen again.
Consideration is a series of conversations where we flesh out what we desire from each other. If those stars align then we get started. This is the portion of the program where I share my leadership style, my vizion, and put into place minor protocols. This is where we both see if what we want is what is developing and we lay our foundation. This also is a lengthy process. We will learn our boundaries, we will tweak the process. We will have misfires and how we respond to them matters. This is where most people tap out, and I am fine with that.
Quattro – Training
Yes. Even though all of the time prior to this laid the groundwork, training still needs to happen. I’ve served. I’ve lived with a collar. In part because of that I have targeted and specific things I expect in service to me. This is where we build muscle memory for the physical and emotional path we are planning. By now you’ve been around 18 months or more. Now is where I hope you accept your place as mine and all we’ve done before pays off. My expectations aren’t simple, then again neither is my devotion to being a person worthy of your service.
Cinco – Ownership
On the other side of training are the words You’re Mine. I don’t talk that lightly which is why you can’t point out a list of people who’ve heard that from me.
Yes I am sure this might prompt even more questions, and as always I will answer them.
Until the next time
Aphrodite Brown