I live in the south. Technically the Mason-Dixon Line defines what makes up the south, and the Pennsylvania/Maryland border is the Mason Dixon line and now that I live geographically below that I am a southerner.

Right around Memorial Day I accepted the offer of someone when were I lived became unsafe.

I don’t regret my time in Pottstown, even if it was not my first choice. It was always supposed to be temporary, and it turned into a year. It led me to accept my current position, it taught me to swallow my issues with yt people in 45’s America, it brought me fully back into kinkland, it taught me the value I place on loyalty. It led to this moment here.

I was told this morning that I don’t think. It’s only partially accurate. I think a lot, and what I am now working on is thinking about the right things, the things which will not just improve my life but the lives of those around me. These last few weeks have shown that deficit and even if its not apparent to those watching I am focused on doing the work.

Ive been quiet shortly after the move because there is work I need to do. Some of it is rolling, other is in planning, and at the end of the day I am thankful for the illumination and curious what it will look like on the other end. I knew this trip would change me, it is not occurring without a cost though and that weighs on me. I can’t let it stop progress though. Forward.

I will unpack that later though.

I have a few posts that I’ve written and not published. I am sure that I will at some point. But let’s go back to Pottstown for a moment.

I grew there. I changed there. I had success and set backs there.

Pottstown taught me boundaries. That was needed. Those have to stay what existed before was not healthy.

Speaking of healthy, I’m down at least 20 pounds. It might be more but its at least 20. I’m still smoking though, but ….baby steps. I have an intake appointment with a therapist Monday, well tomorrow. Long overdue, and needed. I have used my learned tools, both textbook and therapeutic to the extent of my abilities, its time to consult with a higher pay grade. I don’t know if medication is gonna be on the other side of it, but I’m starting. Forward.

I dyed my hair pink. I mean its mostly faded now, but it was bright ass pink. It was a whim, but it also bright to my mind that I want to be seen. I am seen though.

All of me. That is the good and the bad. I don’t mean bad as I am a horrible person. I have less than stellar moments and exceptional moments. I am coming to the understanding that it is all me, all of it and its kind of sobering. That I am actively choosing things I would not see myself doing. My goal now is to actively choose something different. I can.

You’ve witnessed a lot of me here constant reader. You will see more. Me post Pottstown is still emerging.

Aphrodite Brown