I don’t give myself enough of these moments with memories. The pain that it induces is often more than I think I can bear. I’ve been on a mission to feel more and feeling more includes pain. It’s okay. It’s not okay to dwell here, and I will not. I will smile at this memory, I will shed some tears for my loves. And in a few I will blow my nose and get back to work.
I don’t know which of you constant readers clicked the link, but thank you.
You reminded me that Christmas was once a thing. It won’t ever be that thing again, but it doesn’t have to be a used to thing. I can give myself permission to have holidays again. It’s not a dishonor to my loves, in fact it is a testament to them. It’s the person they love back living. They would say its okay to live, so that is what I will do.
I miss them so fucking much. They are okay though. It’s time for me to be okay too.
