I sent Daddy a text yesterday that wasn’t true. I don’t really want to start this relationship out lying to him, but it still was not true.
I told him that he’d imprinted on me in such a way that everyone else notices.
He has. I expect he will continue.
What is being noticed isn’t him though….it is me.
Last night I was told I was a dream come true. In a sense I can see that from that person, even if I think some of what he said was bullshit. I mean I been out here on these streets single as fuck for years now, but you wanted me? 🤷🏽♀️ As I type that though, I am reminded of my Wolf, who to the outside viewer is together and one to be emulated, yet with me is unsure and hesitating as if I would smack him away when all I’ve demonstrated is my desire to bringing him closer. Perhaps this is a thing?
Last night was me in power. Yes it is addictive, but I am also proud of the responsibility that I’ve shown.
Me in power. It is a skin I will get used to wearing, but this entry demonstrates I am clearly not quite used to it.
It was me in power in the sense that I am used to, being desired. Me in power in other senses happened last night as well.
Desire is a peculiar thing. I am often curious about it in others. Why, what it looks like, how to increase it, diminish it, toy with it, build it. I understand my own well, others ….not always.
From my first hello to the hug at the kitchen table at the end of the night it was all about me. It wasn’t having to hype myself up the way I have historically, it just was. And it stayed that way until I fell asleep on the ride home. I’d gotten used to being the center of attention because I felt I had to be something other than what I was. Last night I just was.
In being that I could feel the power coursing through my veins, a high which I’d once sought through other endeavors. Then I got to build on that high with some impact. The the Nine Rules raced through my head and I had to remember who I belong to. Even while reigning ‘her’ in to respect the commitment I’ve made, the power remained.
Last night I was a dream come true. I’ve wanted to meet her for quite some time and she is every bit as amazing as I thought she would be, plus more.
Aphrodite Brown