We are in the middle of a full moon, and the effects are apparent, kind of.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time over the years rejecting all things mystical. I never bought into the man living in the stomach of a whale for 72 hours. Witches were from Eastwick and strangely wanted to breed for Jack Nicholson.

The mystical was the unknown and the unknown was verboten.

I ignored the presence of the ‘spirits’ of those who’ve moved on. I rejected the dreams, the ones that made no sense until weeks, at times months later that very same thing I dreamed happened, in the way my closed eye movies showed me. Magic was a handcuffed man drowning and us being told he was the greatest to have ever done it. Illusions, sleight of hand, the hypnosis of the masses and I am not a part of the masses.

I can’t ignore my time in the Summer House though. The facts say something else. Which makes me smile on this Sunday morning, because Daddy ain’t about that magic life. He is likely to sit me down and try to explain Quantum Physics to me again, and give me the scientific reason why. Then my eyes are gonna glaze over and about 45 seconds in I’m going to start thinking of something depraved to do to/with him and the lesson shall be lost.

I considered tapping into some lunar power, and my uterus said no. That doesn’t mean I won’t try again, after all this is the time to try things.

That push/pull/presence is real though. I ended up in a moment of the past and I don’t yet know what it’s manifesting.

I know I felt fear.

I ended up doing a LOT of reading yesterday. Perhaps not what one might read in that moment, but it happened. I revisited a moment in time and understood both the similarities and differences in the decade of time since. I examined every similarity and acknowledged every difference. In the process, a ‘ghost’ from the past made her appearance. Why she is here raises an eyebrow. What message she has to deliver gives me pause. I’ve resisted messaging her, but I will correct that at the end of this post. I’m done avoiding, I act these days.

My current existence is summed up fairly well with the words of a lover long gone:

Those words, from that person, reminds me of why I felt fear though. I am thankful, question mark, the fear isn’t of him. I *do* fear him in a sense, or perhaps it is the fear I haven’t learned those lessons. His specific lesson, I got that one. I don’t fear the collapse of his marriage and the eventual hey big head. I fell out of chair once when that happened, today my center holds me firm in place.

I can still recall the desperation and the expense of 2007-2008 though. What I risked, the eventual ‘reward’ was fool’s gold and I am into platinum these days. As my gaze stares West I asked myself am I repeating history? Am I broken terrorized Roland being dragged back into the Dark Tower? I know I am not in the sense I’ve thought that in the past. The population of this 3rd Rock from the Sun would have to drop to 2 for me to return. Even then, on a planet this big with now only 2 people on it, I could create lots of space and avoid that for lots and lots and lots of time. Decades.

As I wait for the plan to be revealed I ask the questions though.

Questions are not the enemy, doubt is, and this moment is a reminder. Trust is not the wrong thing, action is the right thing. I’m typing because I am protected, even without the spells. So I will leave you now Constant Reader to handle some things. In the meantime, have a magical day.