One of the things I appreciate about Daddy is that we find laughter every day. Being 3000 miles away from each other in the middle of a COVID-19 world is not simple. We both have measurable needs that are not being fully met in this time, and with ineptness residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, there’s no telling when that will change. Every day however, we find things to be thankful for, and things that generate hearty full belly laughs that remind us we are both fortunate beyond measure.

I could say I didn’t think this through. It would not be accurate though because I did a lot of thinking before I took my shot and that thinking gave me the permission to shoot my shot. While it was sparked by the initial lightening, the fire which roars now is built on the knowledge that this particular person is good for me and good to me.

I identified what I wanted. While I was not convinced I wanted a partner, that I wanted a relationship again, I took the time to think and identify what would enhance my life last summer. When the ‘list’ was complete I had a picture in mind, and the universe said “he’s already here”.

While the details of that list will not be disclosed now, he meets them, and he also exceeds them in ways I did not think I needed. Figuring out how to create and feed a relationship when your partner is 3000 miles away is a little tricky. The idea is, the idea remains, that at some point the distance gets closed and miles turns to feet. Turns to inches. At times that eventually seems so fucking far away that it is painful. We should know by now that waiting is not my superpower, and I’m rewarded from that deficiency with a man who cannot be moved. The universe always has jokes right?

I spent a lot of time identifying the big picture that I didn’t always consider the smaller things. In my head I assumed that we’d work it out. To use his words from yesterday “you’ll live’. How am I supposed to live with a man who doesn’t eat watermelon though? How is that not a let’s take this relationship back to the drawing board moment?

I was so busy focusing on will he be honest, will he be attentive, can he see me at my most manic and still want me that I forgot to ask…..do you eat grits?

Grits are terrible, they are as evil as turkey bacon, and this man went on a 10 minute dissertation on why grits were wonderful.

I’m planning on all the rewards and glorious sex that will happen after he finally tastes the ‘good’ potato salad, the kind I used to make for Bonnie & Clyde, and then he drops the I don’t eat mayonnaise on me and I have start questioning the meaning of life and what alien have I fallen in love with?

He doesn’t eat black eyed peas. That’s acceptable, the consequences of attempting to serve him black eyed peas seems extreme, but I knew extreme was on the table and I picked it anyway. I mean I don’t eat them either so we should be good. I had a Forrest Gump moment yesterday though as my mind identified all of the delicious food he would miss out on because it has mayonnaise in it. Then shit got real when I was faced with the reality….he eats dry cheesesteaks. NO mayo on his cheesesteaks. I asked him flat out, dude are you a demon?

That was rewarded with paragraphs about the power of demons, why they are not all that bad, and whether or not demons had sexual prowess. This is now my life.

My last vizion before I went to sleep last night was a homemade video. For a man who says he isn’t good at video editing….you can’t see it in the finished product. Which reminds me of our last unfinished product…..

The video was him…..and her holding the camera. He was using his variety of swords to cut shit. He sliced 2 watermelons efficiently and I was thirsty. Super thirsty. I studied every detail and wasn’t even upset when I saw the watermelon. It was seedless and I want all the seeds. Yes you may interpret that in a perverted manner because after all …it’s me.

We laughed at the watermelon. We laughed at Hawaiian pizza, even though he’s going to have to see it my ass be damned, pineapple and ham are delicious together.

I think about this week as I write this and all of the things he’s done that isn’t captured here. I think of all the things we will do that won’t be captured here. I think about the things which will be captured and I suddenly no longer wish to type. I am suddenly in a different mood. It’s a good mood though Constant Reader, even if I’ve somehow managed to attach my life to a man who doesn’t eat collard greens. There are absolutely worse problems to have.