I woke this morning and just laid in bed for a moment. I don’t do that often these days, I’m always on the move when awake hits. I mean sure on work days I may hit the snooze once but that is 9 minutes of get your mind right and grateful Nicole not just relaxing.

In the weird of 2020 this was an odd week. Lots of balls in the air, none in my mouth, long distance is starting to take a real toll.

Good happened, good always happens. I got the laptop, and the functionality ….just wow. I now remember what it was that I was missing and I am low key frustrated with myself that I’ve deprived myself for the length of time I did. Daddy did good, I mean he usually does but he did good. I’d also deprived myself of the joy of being in a relationship with someone who values me and invests in me and is willing to invest in me to the point of our future. I did good by picking him. 🙂

That is one of the things I am still working on correcting. The self deprivation. I remember MM saying that I enjoyed the suffering. I don’t, rather I’ve allowed myself to be conditioned to accept it. That is still changing and I have to be mindful of it. I did one little thing this week to counter that, I have to keep doing things.