How it started: I needed someplace to talk about the relationship I was in.

How it’s going: I Am Legend

Just about a year ago I was in a weird place. I was resisting the idea that I could fall in love with the Daddy person and live happily ever after. I was actively fighting the road I am now walking.

I was afraid. I’d done this love thing before and love was the enemy. Today I want more and more love, and not just his.

Kendrick Lamar plays in the background as I type this, and I agree with him we gonna be alright.

The world outside these 4 walls is kind of crazy in the moment. We are less than a week away from what might be the last democratic election in the United States. Philly is in an uproar again after the murder of a Black man by the police. In this case he was armed, but as you should know Constant Reader Black bodies are not frequently met with non lethal solutions to a problem. He had a knife, they because yes there was more than one, had guns and now one more dead Black man is a thing and Philly is sick of it.

I am a Black woman though and I don’t have the luxury of wringing my hands at what might be, I can only prep for it and keep moving.

I walked outside some this morning, and the quiet troubled me. I went inside a corner store and saw the ATM was empty, and understood things might get super ugly in a week and after. It feels odd to be prepping for this new career while the world burns, but if I doubt I can do it I will just pretend I am a mediocre white man and push forward.

I had a hysterectomy Friday. I’ve wanted once since 2017 when I was fed the fuck up with the penalty of having a period knowing my baby cooking days were over.

Friday it finally happened. The road to it once I focused on it was swift and simple. Turned out I also had a hernia which they also addressed. I’m still sore but essentially pain free. I was walking around with fibroids causing my uterus to the size of a woman 5 months pregnant. I had endometriosis. I bled so much it caused anemia once to the point requiring a blood transfusion. Those things impacted my quality of life, and those barriers are now gone.

Lots of my barriers are now gone, I am a new woman physically to match my emotional infancy.

Life is good, now to move…..forward