It occurred to me that I am going to have to change this category again. Diner Ruminations, Porch Thoughts, maybe the next one will be patio pondering? I don’t know yet. The patio is coming, I just don’t know if that is the first place I am going to land in California. I mean in theory, I can make it happen, and it will. I simply don’t have spoons right now to ponder. See what I did there?

This was the week I finally returned to therapy. I didn’t die.

I am setting this up for bi-weekly for right now. As the budget balances out, I may go back to weekly. The balance is this close to being settled. I am almost there. I didn’t think I would be actually, and the debt is still out there, but the supplements should not be needed after March. I am good with that. Better than good really. I mean I am still not California ready, but the closure of the supplements is one more step West and I really need to be West right now.

I’ve been super needy this week. I mean I feel super needy all the time, but extra super needy this week.

He’s stepped up as he always does, and there is the arrival of the unexpected little one to factor in. I was not expecting this. I still have anxiety at walking down this road again. I mean…..after the last time I was left with nothing. This is not the last time though. It doesn’t have to end that way again, in fact it doesn’t have to end at all.

I am going to keep this short because I have to work on the plan for the newest client, but it feels like a while since I’ve been on this page and I needed to update. Not just for you Constant Reader, but for me as well. This is the running commentary of my life and this is currently my life.

My life overall is good. I want to live this good life with him though, and I want it before June. I want spring in the bay, and coffee on that patio pondering the next steps in the conquering of the world.

One of the things that I love about him is that he sees a future that I cannot. His vizion is super clear, even if mine is not. I have the general idea, and he is the detail. I cannot think of a more powerful connection, and as I type this one of the people who never wanted this to occur is texting me.

We wanted this to happen though, and it is. So maybe, just maybe I need to focus on April or sooner and watch the universe move.