Seems simple, I mean we do it all the time right? It is one of those functions we are designed to do without ‘thinking’. A part of the brain regulates that. We don’t have to tell ourselves to breathe we do it because it is necessary and the magical brain takes it over for us.

I think magical brains are a thing, and I know mine is magical. Yours is also magical. All of our brains remind our body to breathe. I need to be reminded to breathe from time to time. The iWatch helps, it will ping and tell me to breathe although I’ve figured out that it is telling me to breathe because my stress levels are high. Right now, mostly I am not stressed. There is little right now that troubles me. I am about to do things which I’ve always wanted to do and almost in the way I’ve always dreamt of doing them.

While the moment isn’t perfect I’ve learned to ask myself what is perfection and to find beauty and purpose in the moment, yes even the insane ones and I’ve had quite a few of those.

This morning as I type though I have to remind myself to breathe.

Talking to the Daddy person it hit me, it finally hit me that after Wednesday December 8, I can leave at any time. ANY TIME.

That is exciting and sobering in the same breath.

I have to remind myself to breathe because that freedom could cause me to make choices which aren’t best for the future. I have to breathe and examine and be as sure as possible that I am making the correct decisions. I have a little flexibility and that could turn swiftly into something which could make my new foundations less than solid. I woke this morning with a smile and that doesn’t happen as often as it should.

I am moving to California.

This is real, this is happening, and the ability to do it is less than a week away.

When I wake on Thursday the only thing keeping me in place is the need to properly plan this voyage.

I wrote in the personal journal last night that 2014 and beyond all lead me to this moment. To this connection and relationship with a man I love. To the unexpected arrival and adoration of my little one. To shedding myself of the responsibility for the day to day of a house I never wanted, shit I pretty much hated. To transferring the responsibility of a mother who while I do love her, is toxic for me in more ways than I can type. To my only son being in assisted living and thriving in a way which would not have happened anytime soon without the incident.

My shedding all of that makes this trip quite simple. My ‘fear’ of accumulating things made sure that now when I make this journey I am not saddled with having to downsize to do it. I didn’t know this day was coming when Andrea tried to destroy me, but the universe did.

Now the universe will carry me through to the next steps and that is beautiful and terrifying.

I’m talking to the Daddy person while I type this and I am reminded of my need for him. Fuck I need him in so many ways.

He went to scout 2 possibilities for me, and we both fell in love with one location. Trouble is, that one location is outside the projected budget.

It is a beauty though, unique and perfect for me.

Me being the dreamer I am already have vizionz of backyard cook outs and where to put the washer and dryer. I’ve mentally already decorated the 2nd bedroom which would be an office, including the new standing desk and all the tech needed to connect with clients.

In my head I’ve already planted flowers along the walkway – well I’ve hired someone to do that in my head.

I’m already having coffee on the back porch while he’s making brunch.

Thing is? While it is outside the current budget, it doesn’t have to be. I can set my sights higher and ramp up my client base. It’s doable.

But he being who he is and me trusting in who he is, has gotten me to inhale and exhale and be realistic. While 1009 is not off the table other locations in this moment take priority.

One thing I have learned though is I can manifest that which I didn’t think I could. So while it is not rational TODAY, tomorrow is another day.

Tomorrow is also one day closer to the checks clearing and packing being necessary.

Forward.