I was told that there are readers who come here to find the not so good news about the life and times of me. I mean….I guess? I haven’t the time nor inclination to watch someone I don’t fuck with to see if they are having a bad day. You do apparently so enjoy I guess?

I think though it’s going to be a moment for you to get the less than stellar update you seek. Keep tuning in though, no one is perfect not even me.

The apartment is a wreck of boxes right now and its giving me all the anxiety, but I am also me, and kinda lazy so I am anxious and avoiding some of the proverbial heavy lifting. I lifted the heavy shit and drove it cross country, then I could not move in when I arrived on Saturday I had to wait until Tuesday, so yeah a little procrastination is in order.

I also could not find my meds for 2 days so my levels are low. Inspiration is on the way though because my little one is coming to visit. Lord how I’ve missed her since July. We are less than 40 miles away from each other now though so we have lots of cuddle time on the calendar. I’m so very proud of her progress, and the things she has upcoming on the calendar. She’s a bad ass. I also like her ass so there’s that.

While we aren’t totally hunker down and not go outside ready yet here at the casa, we are reconnecting and for that I am super grateful.

We were speaking this morning about plans and decorating and getting her a key made. Yeah I am in pretty deep. I want this to not just be my home and my respite but also for the people I love. I want them to know when they arrive at the front door that they can leave all the ugly and the stress on the other side and be themselves and be happy here….like I am happy here.

It’s been so damn long since I planned a home for myself.

Okay….it’s been never if I am being honest. Godfrey Ave was the place Grant and I were supposed to start our life and any home after that was for the Clyde. I even returned to Limekiln Pike for Clyde, because it was never a prison to him and his happiness meant more to me than my comfort.

Even Manheim St wasn’t for me, it was for us.

Then life after Manheim St was a series of shared spaces. This will also be a shared space, but the share is because of choice not necessity. The Daddy and the little one each having their own space means what I do in this space is all about and all on me. There is no roommate who will eventually wash the dishes. There is no one I have to wait to finish in the shower before it is my turn. There is no one who uses all the sugar and doesn’t tell me when I desperately want coffee in the morning.

OH – I already have my coffee routine down. Up – hit button – wash face and brush teeth and by the time that’s done my ONE CUP KEURIG has me java ready.

This place gets really great light up until 430 or so thus far but as the days get longer this California sunshine comes in handy. I am enjoying it so far. I told the therapist that this was the first time in a very loooooooooog time I can say that I am happy.

Are things perfect? Nope. Move in issues just to name a thing. I also have to get working faster than I wanted to, but I could use a schedule right now it can be very easy for me to ‘fall off’ and I don’t want that. I want to live in a way I’ve never given myself permission to live and that includes obtaining a salary to match these big dreams of mine, while I finish my certification to start the West Coast version of coaching.

Other than my knees bitching about me putting them to use and figuring out the new plan for activity besides intercourse I don’t have ‘worries’. There is nothing to bitch or complain about and there possibilities are endless. I absolutely need a car but I am putting that inquiry off until March to get a working budget going.

So I have to think of a name for the new category. I didn’t get patio furniture yet so I’m not currently writing outside, but the cool as fuck thing? I could and will. It’s 60 degrees in the middle of January. Shit I even bought a pair of crocs.

You know me I go all in and go hard and this is no different. Well….except for the smile on my face when I wake to my space and the one when the Daddy or the little on is at the front door.

So y’all come back in a month or so and maybe then I might have something less than happy to share. Just don’t hold your breath waiting for it.