There should usually be a responsible person around. This week I roamed the city with the little one yelling: “we are unsupervised” except what I think I wanted to say was: I hate being the only adult in the room.

It’s not that I didn’t want to be there with her, doing the things we did. I love and adore her she wasn’t the ‘issue’. She never is. I don’t know what perfection is, but she and I might be one of the closest displays I can point to in a world which is flawed.

This was more about my resolution to be the adult in other situations. I actually got to discuss it this morning which helped….some. I didn’t necessarily chose the ear, but the ear was welcome. I chuckle about that considering my prior moratorium but everything changes.

My trip was planned – well sort of – and it was welcome. Not that I wanted to not be in my own bed but considering the last week and the events of the week, limiting access was a good thing. As I type that out I ask myself is this manipulation, and I also type the answer – no.

Manipulation would be taking the ear up on the offer and I declined. Growth bitch growth.

I “prepared” myself for this, and somehow it still hits. I can’t help but think had my suggestion been better received that this would would have unfolded differently, but I trust in the Universe. I trust in that which I created. I trust in my ability to adapt.

I also trust in strength and foundation.

still hits though.

I did prepare for this though, so I know what comes next. What’s most important is that I know MY role and MY lane. I got this.

even if it hits, it doesn’t hit nearly as hard as he does