*EDITOR’S NOTE — I HAD TO REMOVE THIS POST FOR EDITING. THE THING ABOUT BEING ME AND LIVING MY LIFE, IS THAT I PUT EVERYTHING OUT THERE. EVERYTHING. THE REALITY IS THAT CURRENTLY IN MY LIFE, I HAVE TO NOW ACCOUNT FOR THE FEELINGS AND PRIVACY OF OTHERS. I DO THAT IN ONE SENSE WITH CODE NAMES ETC, BUT I DON’T ALWAYS DO IT TO THE POINT OF 100 % ANONYMITY. THIS POST IS ALTERED IN THE SENSE A SECTION IS REMOVED. WHILE I ABSOLUTELY THINK IT IS RELEVANT TO THE POST, WHAT I VALUE MORE IS THE COMFORT OF THOSE WHO LOVE ME AND I LOVE BACK.*

My only real ‘issue’ with you is that you threatened to lay hands on me. I mean, I’ve had other issues over the years, but those are no longer my concern. If you figure out how to keep your words and hands to yourself? You and I have no conflict. Now if you decide to return to your behavior of June, then we will have an issue. An issue I will take seriously and preserve myself accordingly.

I was talking to Charmin the other day and it reminded me that despite claims to the contrary, everything is not out in the open. So let’s air some things out before we meet again in court.

Lord Voldemort and I met around 2008, at the Philly Black Munch. He was there that night to meet kajira [remember her]? We began contacting one another via Fetlife and established a friendship. At that time, I was in a relationship with someone else, he was in his relationship with you, but we both understood the chemistry and curiosity we had for one another. I would learn much later [around last year], you sensed it also and forbid him from pursuing me.

In 2008, there wasn’t the chance he and I would connect, you didn’t have anything to “worry” about. The reality is you never had anything to “worry” about, but your entitlement never allowed you to see that.

By 2013 he and I were exchanging intimate conversations. He’d request and receive the occasional photo/discussion of my escapades, or masturbation. He knew things about me only my former partner knew, and he shared things with me that I don’t imagine he’s shared with you, yes even all these years. There is a symmetry he and I once had, which you can never mimic because of our age, our race and our home town.

In 2013 after he drove you here, we began the physical part of our relationship. We fucked all that summer and experienced the beginnings of what would eventually become our dynamic. I won’t lie and say that I haven’t wanted him since the moment I met him. What I will share, and what you might never comprehend because of who you are, my desire for him was genuine and based in authority exchange. I am actually real about my lifestyle of choice. I don’t pretend to be a slave, I am one. I don’t take a hit, waiting for the moment I can switch it up, I am a masochist, I like it.

I know this is foreign to you, because you aren’t real to this, yet it remains.

In the summer of 2013 we fucked. I wasn’t the only one, I was just the memorable one.

We remained in contact after he joined you here. I actually supported and encouraged his relationship with you. When he’d express a moment you two were having, I was there to encourage grace and patience with you.

Leading up to our reconnection in 2008, Lord Voldemort and I never stopped communicating and connecting. We he returned to Philly in 2018, I spent the better part of the weekend with him. I am sure that there were others who visited him, but he came to my event Friday, I arrived at his hotel Saturday morning and left Sunday evening. After that reconnection, our communications intensified. He began to share his sexual frustration, and his pain at your rejection. Still, I made suggestions and offered advice designed to help your relationship not damage it.

In 2019, he and I spoke about him planning a trip to Philly. I was living in Baltimore at the time. We didn’t plan on the funeral which did bring him back East but we took advantage of it. I rode up to Philly and we spent another amazing weekend together. I left Monday morning, waiting for his answer. What was the question? I’d asked him in August if he thought that there was space and time in his life for the two of us to pursue a dynamic. I was very clear that I did not want to be his girlfriend, that I did not wish to replace you in his life. What I requested was to serve him, as his slave, in combination of the relationship he has with you. I expected it might be challenging, but I wanted him. I was willing to be patient and allow him to navigate my inclusion in his life after he agreed in November of 2019.

The first plan was that he’d travel east every 6 weeks or so for us to maintain our connection and be in each other’s space. The visits would begin about 2 months after your trip to Spain. The cover at that time would be the birth of the granddaughter. Eventually we would not need cover was his communication, but no one knew COVID would happen.

COVID prevented safe travel, so we stayed in contact via phone, messenger apps, and video conferencing. As the summer of 2020 erupted, our conversation altered from me remaining on the East Coast to moving West. He was not comfortable with his property being 3000 miles away, and I was not comfortable with the man I chose being that distance as well with the world as crazy as it was.

His conversation was that he would begin to groom you to the idea of my presence. That never appeared to happen based on how things have turned out but that was his conversation to me.

I was his obedient slave in every way from November 2019 until May of this year. There was no aspect of my life that he didn’t have dominion over, including my needing his permission to investigate and pursue my hysterectomy that year. If he did not approve it, I did not do it.

As 2020 came to a close, and the uncertainty of the election looming over us, he and I discussed and he agreed that my presence on the West Coast was necessary. He and I had multiple conversations, and being transparent I questioned if it was the correct move for me. He refused to finance my relocation, rather his decision was I pay to get here, he would help me set up and maintain until I could get on my feet here. Once he agreed to my relocation, that was always the plan. Always.

2021 was spent preparing for my relocation.

By this time last year, I had a plan which would allow my relocation to happen faster than either of us anticipated. We still planned, and discussed my housing and employment and all the aspects of what life would look like when I arrived.

I began my housing search with a budget in mind. He’d investigate locations I picked. He completed drive bys, met with landlords. He would veto certain locations, as he determined that it was not suitable for his property. He was an active and consensual part of securing my current address. This address was only possible because he agreed that I needed to increase my budget and he would financially support me. He would say that he was hesitant about joining my lease but as the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words:

Sure why not is not hesitancy.

I could populate this entire post with screen shots of our conversations, but I sent you those conversations on July 8. I don’t know if you read them, and at this point it doesn’t matter. My point is that he did not hesitate, that this was his choice and that I did not make the decision to move across country without his approval.

By the end of November, I had the money I needed to relocate and in the beginning of December I located my current residence. We still investigated other locations, including the complex where you live. I am fairly sure he’s moved the video from his laptop to one of his external drives, but he has body cam video of him meeting with a landlord showing him 2 properties on Lassen St.

We signed the lease here in January of this year and I began my drive January 10. I took the same roads you took when you drove you West, except, I did it alone. I am exceptional in that way, something you won’t ever be able to duplicate.

He was here to greet me when I arrived on the 15th. Again he has the bodycam footage to show that, including the flowers and champagne he had waiting for me. He was able to do this:

because he was the one who dropped off the deposit and receive the keys on the 10th. I had not even left the state of PA on that date.

He was instrumental, as he has been in all aspects of my life since November 2019 in helping me set up and populate this apartment.

I don’t know all of the details of your, what did you call it in your response, your “health incident” – in February, but if the question is where did I get my information the response is here:

From then Feb 8 until that night in May he continued as if we were continuing the plans he and I made. While I won’t ever know what prompted that phone call that night, he didn’t deviate in word or deed to me his commitments.

You know some of what’s happened since May. He assaulted me in the leasing office. He belittled me and emotionally tortured me to get me to sign that document.

What you may not know, is that I’ve not once tried to get him to change his mind. Just as I said to you in the email I sent, I do not want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. I also have no desire to attempt to repair a relationship with someone who would do as he’s done from May-July. While you’ve always worried I would replace you, I never planned on it, and there is zero chance of that happening moving forward.

You know Lord Voldemort likes to re-visit his past conquests, but he will never be able to re-visit me. Never.

So, while you latched onto him not long after your bankruptcy, pretended to want to be in the lifestyle long enough to hook him, and are now calling the shots while you have him on your home turf, that was never my intention or my reality.

I came to him pure in my intentions and commitment. I remained in my role and place until he eliminated the trust required to stay there.

Now, I live here without him. I am not leaving Vallejo. While this small town will create moments where we may cross paths, you and he no longer exist for me, outside my need to be safe.

While I could type for days about the details of my relationship with Lord Voldemort , the reality is that it is over, for good.

He still hasn’t told you everything, but that’s your cross the carry not my own. For me? I just want to live my life without having to listen to you threaten to lay hands on me. Or worry that you might show up at my front door as you’ve threatened to do.

As far as the money? That’s an issue for Lord Voldemort, myself and the court at this point. It was not nor was it ever extortion. It is not nor was it ever any of your business for you to attempt to interject yourself into. If he was stressed? He created it, and it is his requirement to reduce it. I don’t know why you wanted him off the lease so badly, but he’s off it now.

Should you and I have a conversation? Most likely but it’s not anything I plan to facilitate and you’re unlikely to so it probably won’t ever happen. What will happen though is that I will be able to live my life, free of fear from him and you.