I was ambitious to think that I would come here daily. I don’t mind ambition though.

I don’t exactly know what I wanted when I began 2o days of me. I think I thought it would be a celebration. It is instead an examination of the present. That really is what this blog overall is, so why 20 days of me?

Monday the gig hired me, I moved from temp to perm. I’ve done it before. I choose temp agencies because they have more resources than I do, and when I need a job, I NEED a job. There isn’t ever a question in my mind that I will transition. I know how good I can be when I set my mind to something.

I think I also do it because I think I always have to prove something. Yes it gets me into doors that I would not otherwise be able to open, but once inside I feel like I have to prove. I am always proving something, and I wonder if that will change.

This particular position is not something I ever saw myself doing, and have never done before. That didn’t alter my immediate impact.

I understand the assignment as the kids like to say these days.

I show up, and I am me, and me can be exceptional.

Do I like my job? shrug

It’s a means to an end, a placeholder for something better. It meets the basic need, I work from home 3 days a week, and now that I am a full time employee I can earn bonuses.

I caught on pretty quick, and my skill set fits their needs.

When I clock in and set my mind to things, I make it happen. Yes a lot of it is subject to things beyond my control, but when given the opportunity, I tend to succeed more than not.

Yesterday, the supervisor and I had an off the record talk. They want to move me to another position November 1. Similar work, a little more advanced. They first brought it up a couple weeks ago, but were waiting for me to be a permanent hire. Could I say no? Maybe, but it doesn’t feel like I should.

I am less than thrilled with the compensation discussed but this is where I look at the positives. In a position where I can be bored to tears, it is a challenge I have not met before.

It will alter my day in a positive, giving me more freedom. That is the one distraction here at the bottom the higher ups need to micro manage. It doesn’t change.

I won’t grow up and run the joint. This is not the MedRisk okeydoke, it’s just that this location doesn’t support a lot of growth. The company is big though and while I am waiting for AC to realize I am the one they’ve waited for all their life, I might as well see what this company has to offer me. The possibilities are there.

In a sense it is a compliment. No one in the office currently has gotten the opportunity so quickly. If I can excel in it, and I see no reason why I won’t, I will have created a new position, one that did not exist before I arrived. My opportunity for bonuses will increase as well because I will have fewer people to compete with.

I started this job at the end of May. In 4 months I am being trained for something bigger.

I am thankful for this position. Without it, I could not be here doing the things I am doing. I wouldn’t be able to hold this roof over my head.

I don’t want to stay here forever though, I am meant for more and I will pursue it. In 20 days of me I give myself permission to think bigger and bolder and understand that I don’t have to go the rest of my working days in a position like this. I am worth more.