I don’t often wake at this time of the morning these days but I chose to rock with it today.

It should allow me to get some things done, including starting this damn laundry and I just wanted to get some things off my chest this AM.

50 has arrived and yesterday my legs felt 50. Even with all the walking over the weekend I felt fine until that manicurist gave me that alleged massage. I was stiff by the time I got back to Vallejo and was walking like an old woman all day long yesterday. They are less sore and stiff today and I will take it because I was reminded yesterday that I have things to do. If nothing else the November 2 will get me over the Halloween hunt this year.

I spent my birthday with someone I love and it was amazing. It was something that I wanted and needed in more ways that I realized. I got amazing presents, including a new vibrator, and I got to share energy with one who fuels me. This is not like epic birthday 2019 it was better. I mean few things ever will compare to Philly vs. Everybody, but this year was something which I can do even in 25 more years when I can’t take on and stall 13 tops.

I went into the office yesterday, rare for a Monday, but they needed me to train one of the new hires. I just started this position May 31, out of desperation, because Lord Voldemort abandoned me. I’ve clawed my way from temp to permanent, I am moving to an advanced position November 1, and I am training. THAT is who I am, the woman who walks in, then slays.

I have a Bonzai tree.

I still need a palm tree but that is coming. Lots of things are coming.

I spend a lot of time here in angst with that which I doubt about me, wonder about me. I reminded myself over this weekend I am that chick.

Reminding myself I am that chick, almost required the response of yesterday afternoon. I won’t go into those details yet, but it is the presence of the pattern of behavior. I don’t have to lift a finger I keep saying it, and it keeps being true.

I won’t question this path instead I will walk it, it my head high, and at times sore legs.