I sat here to put the final touches on my notes for Friday and down the rabbit hole I went. Some things change some do not.

I landed right before here at the post titled WWW. I didn’t get it all out that day because I had to go to work, and I never did get around to part 2 until now.

I got to chat with the little one today and shared some things. While I can’t post all of what we discussed, I will share that the past week was odd to experience. On January 10 2022 I got into a truck and began to drive West. On January 15 I arrived in my now home state of California. As I revisit that time, I am reminded of how different I was a year ago.

As I take notes from my sources to prep for battle on Friday I am reminded that JUST a year ago, I was euphoric. Even with the shit show of my arrival on the 15th, I was giddy. I was in excruciating pain from the travel and the lifting that day, but I clearly recall how I felt pulling up to what is now my current address. Even though I had to sleep in a hotel for 3 days until they began to address the issues, I was happier than I can ever recall being, with the one exception of the first time I saw my Clyde.

I don’t have that same joy currently, but I am not unhappy.

I am stressed, Friday looms on the horizon and there is a lot on the line.

I am happy at where I am in this moment. It took a long time to get HERE after May, but HERE I am.

For the first time since he rolled out, this was a ‘smooth’ month. Mind you, it’s not over but I like how it looks at the moment. The little one said she was proud of me, and I just said thank you, resisting the urge to qualify it. See Goddess I can learn new tricks!

I am kinda proud of me too. I still have a ways to go, but I am taking a moment and enjoying where I am now. Nose to the stone, focused, asking for help when needed, and working hard. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and if I can sidestep the one BIG thing coming up this spring, it is not an oncoming train.

The first WWW spoke about his desire to be in proximity to power. I understand it better now, as Friday looms.

I made a conciliatory offer which he rejected. I knew he would, I told them he would, and I know why he did. It was taken as a sign of weakness and permission to strike back hard in vengeance. Once more, he is not learning the lessons of me, but again that is not my problem any longer. I’ve tried to navigate this as simply as possible while protecting myself. and despite my emotions causing the least amount of harm.

If I want to do harm? Vallejo would still be on fire despite the record rains.

Since that conversation in May it’s always been about protecting me, and it always will be. At first it was financially until he made it necessary to add physically.

He doesn’t realize what I could really do, and how I could absolutely destroy the both of them. He also doesn’t realize my restraint, which stems from love, is not weakness. It was first my love for him, and now is it my love of ME. He can’t understand it because he is not built for it. He thinks what he did in May was out of love, yet it was out of desperation and fear and his own weakness. What holds me back is understanding that I don’t want to be that person, not that it is underserved.

As I revisit his reponse:

We met in 2013 — lie

He objected to my move to California — lie

He was hesitant to sign the lease — lie

I could not afford this unit on my own — not exactly a lie, I was unemployed when he retreated, I am still here, without his contributions

My request for payment is extortion – lie

He sent 2 letters to the complex trying to backdoor his way off the lease he was not able to legally extricate himself from — slime

He paid what we agreed – lie

He did not assault me in the leasing office — lie

I agreed to sign the release form he made up — lie I was coerced after being physicality and emotionally assaulted

I lied about the events of March 31 and April 1 — I did not and I’ve got the video to prove it

He never promised to support me financially — lie

Lie after lie after lie. Half truth connected to fantasy.

I was asked if I was ready. Yes. I have the truth on my side. I was asked was I worried that he had a lawyer and I don’t. No. His attorney can only argue based on his delivery of information. He’s lying to the attorney most likely because he’s still not telling Kalifornia Karen everything, and as the saying goes the truth will set you free.

I’ve abbreviated as much as possible, but I am prepared to air it all if needed. I don’t think I will though, after all it’s his words, in writing and on camera. Even in his response, I didn’t mean to…that is a different thing than I did not do it.

Through it all…he agreed to a number he did not meet and as a reasonable person seeing his unpredictable behaviors I should have legal protection from what he might do next. He says nothing. His actions since May don’t support that, and I should not have to look over my shoulder the entire time I am here.

Here I am and here I stay.

Loving him was not a mistake. Letting him go was not a mistake.

I went through the SD card finally. Just amassing more bullets if needed for Friday. Yes, there is more there too. I was not aroused. I could not keep my hands off him when I first got here, and watching us now, I feel nothing.

Yeah it’s over.

Unlike him, I am not going to keep it for prosperity and rewatch. There is nothing else there for me. I’ve even going to delete how to anally rape a nun.

El Fin….or it will be after her final hearing next month.

A year ago I arrived in California with only this:

The second year looks a lot different, and so do I and I am good with it.