Although I cannot say with any amount of certainty what normal looks like for the kid. I was talking to the work wife last night about finding a passion, following a dream. I feel as if I should chuckle at that, but I won’t, at least not tonight.

I told her about one of my first dreams, I think I wrote about it here. I wanted to be the first Black Woman Chief Justice of the United States once. Now…in theory it could still happen. There is no requirement for one to be a lawyer to sit on the Supreme Court and there hasn’t yet been a Black woman Chief Justice.

I shared with her though, that while I was sure that was what I wanted at the ripe old age of nine, that is not where I was ‘supposed’ to land. It was a dream created from a girl who’s mother had decided what she would be when she grew up. While I still have an affinity for the legal, and a touch of aptitude with it, law school is not my ministry, nor is sitting on a court in this nation as a life long appointee.

By the end of my freshman year of high school that dream seemed impossible and the next 3 years documented that in my conscious and cemented my future. By the time I was 30, I was a mother with political hopes. Not the mayor of the city kind, but hopes still. By the time I was 40 all I wanted was to get away from Limekiln and love the man fully and openly who’d held my heart for over a decade then.

When 50 arrived…..all I wanted was to not have to scramble so much to pay the rent. Life comes at you fast.

The incident drastically changed my life, and for those of you who’ve been here a while you know how and why. For those of you who are new, or simply spend your time here attention seeking, go back to 2014-2015 and catch up. Or not, you are welcome to keep reading the same 20 posts and increasing my metrics while you do it, I still win regardless.

It should be normal for me to look at the win and think THIS IS THE WAY. It’s not quite yet, but I am getting there.

I did a thing today. Well…..I did a FEW things today. All of them make me smile in a fashion, for different reasons.

In 2020 and 2021 whatshisname and I would spend hours discussing the future and how it would be fueled and financed by the dream which grew from a weekend in January 2020. I was able to attend due to his financing. The cost of that weekend he said was that he would forever have access to my brain. I’d joke to him that it was the best $150 he’d ever spent in his life. He voided that contract, and while on the rare occasion these days he will pop up and spend a couple hours in there rent free, his appearance is normally triggered by some tangential thing. It doesn’t last any longer, and at some point along the way, it won’t happen at all. I may still toss a thank you in the pages though because He was one of the catalysts. If I did it though, it would be more of my petty, putting it down again, to prove that I CAN and there ain’t shit that can prevent it. Lets see how I feel when the next ISBN # is on file.

Yes I said the next. One of the things I did today was submit a book for self publishing/sale on Amazon. While Bezos is a turd, his hubris and greed give me the opportunity to level up and I am seizing the motherfucking day.

My best known pen name is in use, but the alternative one is not. And for the girl who can only write 2-3 chapters of the story at a time, there is now a format where that is just fine. It’s a reminder from the Universe that while the best is still unwritten as the song goes, what’s happened can be recorded. A part of how these next steps happen is that people need to know and understand my story to buy into the process. So telling the story must happen.

I got to talk to Big Sexy today and while I won’t see him in June, I reminded him that he has a role in the movement too. I am pushing vacation back a month and changing the location, and everything I do in these next 2 months will contribute to that success. It should be normal.

While embracing the truth; I am that good and I am doing that which I said I would and the stage is imminent – while that is not YET normal…..what is normal for me is rising above every adversary tossed in my direction.

Make NO mistake, I did not arrive at this moment in time without help and without love. My ability to stand here IS about me, and what I am capable of being and doing.

Just about a year ago a plan was put into action to send me whimpering back to Philadelphia. Instead I am still here and badder than ever. This is what it looks like when you are still in Philly vs Everybody fighting shape. Take notes.

Even if you do though, you will only learn what I’ve taught you, not everything I know.

That’s okay though. You will be improved because of it and that is my superpower.

I actually gave a little thought to those who will say how happy they are to see this moment for me, and know that old dogs don’t do new tricks.

I’m shutting the door to those thoughts tonight though. Tonight I go to sleep, a business owner, and an author. Tomorrow when I wake should the universe give that gift to me, I take another new step.

Hang on Constant Reader, there is a lot more where this came from. It’s gonna be a hella good time.