“I can, and I will give up that one small moment for the bigger stage ahead.”
And sometimes the Universe says hold on – we are making room for both. In this moment I say, well alright then, let’s roll. I haven’t share all of the things happening right now, because big brother is watching and I almost never call my shots. Perhaps that is just the conditioning of me, or perhaps it is me being practical. Regardless, there are many wonderful things happening and it feels like just the beginning.
It IS just the beginning and I am taking a moment to breathe before the next episode. It might be be a hot girl summer but it will be hot.
I’ve been writing elsewhere. Not in a personal journal but a document which I will make a PDF soon. I’m not just the low content journal creator, if this blog showed nothing else I am the griot of the tale of me, and this story needs a wider audience. I can already hear the panic alarms from the little one, but I got you kid.
I also hear other things. They are not said to me directly, rather they are delivered by the Universe. There is no such thing as coincidence, and that call was not one. I’m your huckleberry though so I shared the story. Not the actual one, rather the one which would be relayed. My being here – now – was not a motherfucking fluke. Part of my arrival is the reality that I am protected and I see things others might miss. I did not miss this attempt, or any of the others prior.
In a phone conversation this afternoon I was humbled. That doesn’t happen as often as it should, my ego needs work. I was still humbled. Why would THEY know ME? Because I am worth knowing. While I’ve spent the time since 2019 focused on one person, that doesn’t erase who I’ve been. It doesn’t erase who I AM, as I enter spaces. It was not an accident, it was earned. It IS earned and now is the time to run flat out.
Yes I worry about over extending myself. I think that it really *might* be over in May and with that comes gratitude. Closing that door and bolting it was always the plan after last May, now perhaps I can finally get it done. I am still playing to win, I am just ALSO enjoying that it can be over and anything else that appears is about their mediocrity not my focus.
I was given a gift. I will not waste it. I will spend some time mentally at the Summer House. I left a lesson there I have to reclaim.