The conversation this afternoon was unexpected but the Universe knows I needed it. As usual the Universe delivered, I expect nothing else, but yes I am still kind of …but for ME?

I didn’t cry, because I was outside and you know…thug. Looks like I might still have that thing I hoped for, who knew.

I made a promise. I plan to keep it. Some of it is outside my control, but most of it is and I plan to keep the promise. Unqualified promises – something almost forgotten.

I also promised myself a hot girl summer, but should I break that one it isn’t the worst thing. I would gain something super special in exchange.

I am about to do something a little different tonight. Ramping up to this moment in time prior? I did certain things and prepped in a certain way. Tonight? We are posting up on the sofa and watching FastX.

I told myself I wasn’t buying a television, but you know what? WE deserve the big screen while we spend time together. If you hear me say I am also buying a Playstation? Send help. It would mean I was in love again. Yeah I have fears about that, and yeah if it happens I will roll with it.

I rolled with this here and now I live in California.

I mean, worse case we break up right? Been there done that and by golly I am still here and still amazing. I’m amazing in California driving a Mercedes. How’s that for irony.

Sure the last one has taken a year to be over – blank stare – but the two of us were abnormal to start makes sense the break up was too,

Of course we could NOT break up and well that is the scary part. Since my departure from the Summer House I’ve been afraid of a lot of shit but I did it anyhow. I am a little grayer for the effort yet the positives outweigh the gray. I shave my head anyhow.

I was asked if I was nervous. Not exactly. I mean – I am always nervous in moments like this, but tonight feels different than 2 months ago, and well I will take it. I am getting a side eye so Imma bounce.

For those of you who F5 waiting to see what I will say next? You aren’t likely to get an update until late tomorrow so don’t hold your breath. I’ve shared every update though along this path, so yes I will share. It’s just that after tomorrow? Regardless of outcome I’ve already won. Keep winning is what’s up next.