Gotta love Facebook memories.

Two years ago today I was headed out to the airport to make my first trip to California in just about 20 years. The last time I was in the state Clyde was in diapers. It was a week with my new friend Jenni and I would also make time with the ex during the trip.

I learned a lot in that trip.

First I learned Mark Twain was right – San Fran is cold as fuck. I am still not used to that moving into my 2nd year here. My city is pretty mild. We spend a lot of time in the mid 80s in the summer, yes we can get hotter but the Carquinez Strait keeps temperature moderate. Down the road where I work Walnut Creek it gets hotter. If it’s 80 in my city, its 90 in Walnut Creek. When I hop off Route 24 moving through the tunnel the temperature shift hits on the other side, 20 degrees or more colder. Now, 65-70 is not cold. There are below zero days in Philly I would have punched an old man in the face for that temp. It’s cold in comparison.

When I packed that suitcase I packed for summer and summer was not in San Fran.

I got to be in the apartment with the Jenni I’d only seen on Zoom and it was just as adorable as she is. I got to cuddle and she showed me her town through her eyes. I still do not love it the way she does, I don’t know that I ever will.

I took a photo where the first photos of a ‘Karen’ in the wild – aka Oakland lakefront – were taken.

Ironic when I think about it now.

I still have the photos and videos of my reconnection with the ex. I’d just seen them in May but it felt as if I had not seen him in years. He arrived early on a Friday morning and left late-ish that afternoon. In hindsight? I should have known better, watched what was playing and taking it at face value. I was in love, I was determined. I ignored the red flags.

There was more than one that week, including the Thursday trip to Bambinos and the conversation. When I got on the plane a week later, and back to the streets of Philly, I was running flat out to make relocation happen. I’d already filed my EEOC complaint before the trip, and every day after I got back home to Philly I built and supported that complaint. I was relentless and I was detailed. That case…it was a good case. I proved something that was almost impossible to prove. A part of it was the company was so blatant and obtuse. A different part of it was I was meticulous and determined.

All by myself I created and prepared a case that brought a settlement within hours when we got to mediation. The ex was there every day when I built that case and either didn’t pay attention or thought they were bigger and badder than a multi million dollar corporation. They were not.

That summer trip though, I could have predicted some of this past year based on what I saw on that trip. I didn’t though, rose colored glasses, delusion who knows.

The move was the right one. I am supposed to be here. The former relationship was the catalyst.