I hit an unexpected yet not unwelcome milestone this week. I went to pull something out of the cabinet it and it was expired. Wow.

I haven’t seen expired food in a cabinet since Limekiln. Bonnie refused to throw anything away ever and when I took over after the stroke I ended up throwing a lot of things out, beginning with thieving assed Valerie. I’ve noticed old people tend to hoard, and I think I will escape that particular trait. I’m no longer at the point where I fear acquiring things. I am fully into making this place look like me, up to and including the pink appliances. I spent years after the incident living in a ‘room’, and then fearing the apartment. I live now and that is worth the celebration.

I have been here long enough for things to expire. While I have a tinge of regret that I am not actively cooking as often as I should but that is easily fixable. I have happiness though that I’ve put down roots to the point where the things I brought in have played their part. That what I brought in at my arrival are so long ago that I have to replace them. It means I am steady, and mostly stable. It means I’ve done a part of that which I wanted. There is one more thing to do here at this current residence which would be a milestone I’ve never accomplished before. I will let you know if I get there.

This week I go into the final class to get Master Certification. Once upon a time I didn’t think I would need it, now I am one class away.

I didn’t get the gig in Texas. There is only one reason why and I have to ask myself how much more it will cost me before I pull the trigger. It means stepping back into that place, and I don’t know if I want to do that. I know I made a promise I would not, yet, that promise was conditional and this was one of the conditions.

Should I walk back into that headspace, I am no longer inhibited and that is fear inducing..or it should be.

I am prepping for another first tonight, so I have to get the sheets together.

Look at where I am – look at where I was – tell me that I can’t accomplish anything I’ve determined I desire. Do that and I will call you a liar because my track record says different.