It is February 8, 2024. I woke up this morning after not sleeping next to a white woman who calls me nigger. It is a good day. Today’s entry is from the year 2017:
This might be the first time I revisited an entry and thought about changing the title. I didn’t but the new title in my head is kinda hot. This one is a story of me having sex. I do that from time to time and this was a good time. I’d forgotten a specific aspect of that encounter until I read it. This is where I chuckle and then chuckle harder. Why? Imma keep that to myself for the moment but trust me it is funny.
By this time I was working at Greyhound. I was approaching the end of the road at Randolph and I was about to begin the next steps in reunification. I understand better now why February can be hard for a sister but we push through never the less.
Yesterday I got two offers. One was an immediate yes. After I read the contract it was signed and returned within an hour. The second I am still waiting for the contract and then I will have about 2 days to land on yes or no. I am lowkey hoping that they don’t send it until Monday because that gives me more reflection time. I haven’t checked my emails yet today. I wish I were set up to give offer #2 the same immediate yes but I am not and because of it I have to consider many things.
One of the suggestions to consider, shutting down my social media. I would not delete any of my accounts but not posting. You see DELETING an account is destruction of evidence. There are consequences to that legally. Also, I don’t know if there is a way to make Vizionz private. I feel like there IS but I haven’t researched it and I won’t make the time for that today.
Could I stop posting? Of course. Yes the online presence is just starting to expand, but I grew it from 16-114 in 3 weeks I could do it again. It sat at under 20 for THEEE longest time but I made a change and things took off. I’d log in and see 4 views now I log in and see 4000. That reminds me I still have to finish editing February’s show but the long videos aren’t ever going to be the catch. Some will travel to them and learn others will still only hit the shorts but the results will still be what I hoped to accomplish.
Could I stop posting? Of course. There is nothing I am generating right now that can’t wait a few months and in that time I can improve the process.
I can think of a person specifically who would finally be allowed to exhale if I did. Making that person happy has been off my list of things to do for quite a while now though. Shit it would almost be worth it to finally be taken off the focus and create a scenario where they have to look internally to what ails them and not keep looking over here at my side of town.
I am fond of saying that I don’t have to make that decision right now, and I do not so I will not. I am still Black History though.