It is February 12, 2024. I woke up this morning after not sleeping next to a white woman who calls me nigger. It is a good day. Today’s entry is from the year 2021:
There are other entries this month but only 2 others. While another would give a broader picture of Nicole’s history this is the type of post prying eyes are looking for so I thought I would be cooperative for a change.
I also am using this as a reminder. This was the point where I saw the problem and instead of walking away I doubled down.
I’d have to go back to the messages to review if this was post nigger, but I am not going to do that this morning. The lesson is what matters and that is why I am adding this to Black History. I was met for the first time a moment where action did not meet words and I didn’t hold them accountable for that.
One of the things about my history is that I put on a cape and think I can save everyone. The lesson is that I need to first save myself.
I don’t have regret about this situation outside of the occasional I was too nice but even then I will live with it because overall I want to be that nice person vs the other me I know exists.
I just look back at these 3 entries and mentally kick myself. At the end of the day, this was the path planned for me and I am walking it.