One of the things I am learning as I go through this moment with my social media is that it can be a blessing and a curse, can be valuable and damaging. I am unlikely to ever be one of those people with hundreds of thousands of followers just on my ‘regular’ social media. I am not sad about that. The business will exceed that mark but the place where I let down my hair and just be me not likely.

Last week when I met with the lawyer he suggested going dark on social media. We talked extensively about my sites, their content and my case. In the end we agreed I would keep all the sites up. I was thankful for that since I am finally making some traction on YouTube. I shared what I thought could be most problematic, and he reviewed and we made the decision to continue.

Like hundreds of thousands of others I’ve been captivated about a woman on TikTok. She shared a 50 part story of her marriage and divorce. By the time she got to chapter 40 the Internet had already located her ex husband. There was another woman who caught her husband cheating and went viral also. Her story of the husband and mistress caught at the airport was all over Beyonce’s Internet. Then there is the story of the woman who met a man on Match.com and within 30 days was engaged to be married. Like the first story within hours those men were located and identified. There is Morgan from Michigan and the Random Man from Atlanta. Mind you he outed himself, but once more the name and face are out there for the world to see.

The story of my happy ending turning into restraining orders would sell just as much as any of those stories above. Shit possibly more considering some of the salacious elements of the tale. I don’t write for clout or make shorts for it either.

I’m not out here on YouTube singing the ballad of the wronged woman for a monthly check. Even though my current presence would distribute pennies, putting it out there in the way these women have would turn pennies into 5 figures. I don’t do that though. Sure there is mention, but that is not unlike any other mention of any other situation over the past decade +. It is a part of my story and as I do other things the mentions diminish. Will I still finish and publish the book? You bet your ass I will, but what I am not doing is chasing fast money clout.

As I sit here and edit the latest content, I also think of the rants earlier this year. I think of the sub Tweets still getting tossed my way and wonder what will make it stop? I actually know what to do to make it stop but I’ve never done it out of grace. Sure I am the villain in their story but that is not my nature. I don’t inflict harm with intention and even when injured I tend to not deliver a kill shot. i ask myself at times if that makes me weak, but I still don’t think so. I think it makes me a better human being and at the end of the day that I what I wake daily trying to be and remain.

I just look at the latest sub Tweet and think I SHOULD go ahead and release the videos and really show what chaos can look like. After all I’ve been accused of it simply because…..well I won’t share my thoughts on that one. By my grace this hasn’t gotten out of control. I am one graceful motherfucker