Today was a long day. It was also a reminder that I am not long for the current space I exist within. I have long days all the time now as I work on this expansion, yet today was long without being as productive as I wanted long.

When I first started the current gig we were in office 3 days a week and remote 2-3 days depending on if I worked on a Saturday. That slowly evolved to being remote 98% of the time. When the transition was happening, I recall saying out loud that I didn’t mind coming into the office. Technically I still don’t, but I also do.

I will admit my privilege that I have a pretty short commute. As California commutes go it is pretty sweet. I could think of shorter ones, but those opportunities were not where the Universe wanted me to reside. I am positive that the short commute makes me ‘ok’ with more days in office. My supervisors and some of my co-workers travel 2 or more hours. That is NOT my ministry and even though I was ready to make that my reality the Universe said nope and the deal fell apart. Being transparent I had a little sad about that, ok, more than a little. I had plans but the numbers would not match and we could not arrive at a concession we would both be comfortable living with. For the current gig? 2 hours? I mean —– possibly if there was nothing else but life has taught me there is always something else. Always.

Last summer the supervisors essentially said nope to the commute and I found myself 98$ remote. I got real comfy with that real fast. Now we are still mostly remote but we have this mandate we have to be in the office at least 1 day per week and today it dawned on me I don’t wanna.

A part of it is that the work wife isn’t working there any more. I mean I am super thankful that we connect in other ways, but she made it bearable. While of the remaining employees of this shrinking department the ones I am in office with are the only ones I ‘talk’ to, they don’t get me, I don’t get them and that does make an impact on my day.

Today was a long day. I don’t recall it being like this last year, but last year I was preoccupied. Even though all of that is ‘over’ all eyes are still on me. I just screen shot and keep it moving these days. Last year though I feel as if I were handing more accounts. Statistically I know that is not possible based on our current circumstance, but there really was more last year. Today though that list was hella short and by 3pm I was really out of things to do, so I would have to – gasp- talk to the people in the office.

It was a lot, but I did it and its over and I have 2 more weeks before this happens again so yay? The mental exhaustion though is just a reminder to me to not take a moment for granted and keep the steps moving forward. I feel a way that they are still looking for their rockstar, but I am a hard act to follow.

When I am doing that which I love full time the days will still be long, I just won’t feel the same at the end of them. The consultant and I need to finish the OTHER Vizionz but it still looks great.

Now to work on this edit.