This moment kinda describes that which I am feeling at the moment. Lots of emotions just ready to flow out and it might could be on a big stage with lots of folx watching.

Attempting to explain the complexity of things to the therapist this week seemed almost impossible. In those moment I wish we had more than an hour because there is often so much left to discuss and the 7 days in-between session doesn’t seem to work the way that one hour does.

The meds help. They’ve raised the floor an inch and while that doesn’t seem like a lot, understanding where I was standing 2 months ago that is a big inch. Like men lying about their dick size inch.

I will unpack some of it here. I have no idea how far I will go, but I never do until I begin the journey.

I was gong to vote for Joe Biden. The way this republic is set up someone has to get 270 Electoral College votes and I think Joe could have done that. I also think that a coffee mug SHOULD have been able to so the same considering the other choice on the ballot but humans gonna human. In this moment there are only 2 parties capable of hitting that number R or D. One of the things that this moment in time brings to the front is how fucked capitalism as America practices it. There is no winner who will dismantle the status quo and we should truly be burning this shit to the ground. The votes that I cast are to mitigate harm not to advance progression. I have to admit out loud that I don’t actually have the stomach for revolution. I just want to be able to ride out the rest of my days as simply as possible.

I am disgusted with how the party with the D treated Joe Biden. I have always had issues with Joe, but those issues don’t overshadow the type of human he’s shown himself to exist. I watched his evolution under the Obama administration and I’ve watched his mastery in the Oval Office. Despite my personal issues with that man I have to call him a patriot. I also have to give him props for making sure the selection process did not collapse into chaos and that the Black woman was protected in the process.

I never floated into the Obama hype. While I did eventually cast a vote for him and I appreciate his historic accomplishments. I wasn’t a part of the hype because I was still mad that Hillary was passed over. Yeah I run hard for that woman. I think a part of what I am experiencing now watching the ascension of Vice President Harris might be like what some of you felt in 2008. When Joe Biden chose her I felt that. I did not feel that same for Obama. Watching the Democratic convention this week I felt like I might burst like Gus. It is now official and she is the nominee. Dare I say it, she could win.

I want that.

I am typing from a location that is not my normal and the difference in the view is valuable to me. I am connecting with the surroundings here and it is making a difference. It has stirred up many emotions these days and I don’t yet know what I look like processing all of them.

Lot’s of processing.

I have more choices ahead of me and those I might not look forward to at the moment but it doesn’t alter they have to be made. Something was suggested to me today, and I think I might tap into the sentiment from that suggestion. I feel like that could be a mistake but it might be the best move. One less thing. I could use one less thing these days. I absolutely feel good about one of the decisions, and that is rare these days.